Cohousing-L Mailing List: Differences between communities (WAS Thank you from a new community!)

[Eris Weaver (eris]

> "I am seeing that there can be significant differences between
> cohousing complexes. I wonder what accounts for these differences. How
> much does geography,for example, the local surrounding politics and
> culture matter?"

I think that the local culture & politics are most likely an issue during
member recruitment -- are there enough of "our kind of people"
(environmentalists, cultural creatives, etc.), with enough money, enough
time, etc. to fill up a community. 

I attribute the closeness in my community to the following factors:

1. Early on, we made a deep commitment to good process. That means investing
time and money. We got training in consensus, facilitation, group dynamics,
etc. early on in our formative years, and continue with more training
annually. (We were five years in development and have been living together
five years.) We're talking at least a full-day workshop at least once a
year. $1000 a pop plus travel. Early on it may seem like a LOT of money, but
it pays off -- in shorter, more effective meetings; good decision-making
processes; better communication; reduction in conflict. 

2. Early on, we made a deep commitment to good social connections. That
means investing time and money.  Lots of parties and social events. During
development, every year we rented a  summer camp about an hour away and
spent an entire weekend doing nothing but hanging out, playing, etc.  We
don't do those formal retreats anymore but big bunches of us still go
camping and traveling together; we have an annual women's retreat (recently
added a men's retreat); have at least four-six major parties/celebrations
per year; half a dozen house concerts per year; talent shows, kids events,
game nights, movie nights, etc. as people think of them. We have a line item
in our annual budget for celebrations (food, decorations, etc.)

3. Early on, we made a deep commitment to a strong common meal system. We
set the expectation way before move-in that every adult cook once a month.
We have four meals a week and participation is high. Yes, it is more
difficult for some people than others but overall it works. It’s a great
time to connect up with folks - for some of my neighbors, it's the main time
I see them.

------------------------------
Eris Weaver, Facilitator & Group Process Consultant
Resident, FrogSong (Cotati, CA)
eris [at] erisweaver.info
707-338-8589
http://www.erisweaver.info


fa cil' i tāt: to make easier