Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Excluding a member

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On Oct 22, 2008, at 12:43 PM, R.N. Johnson wrote:

> We made a decision to add to our bylaws a clause that allowed us to  
> exclude someone if 80% of the group agreed that their inclusion  
> would likely prevent us from successful development.

This example is a good one for determining when and how to begin  
making decisions by consensus. In sociocratic organizations, one of  
the conditions for effective consensus decision-making is that all the  
group members agree to make decisions together.

Gerard Endenburg has questioned whether consensus can be effective in  
cohousing where people cannot choose with whom to make decisions. Not  
only is there no ultimate control over who moves in but a resident can  
partner up with someone who is offensive or out of step with the rest  
of the group.

Consensus works well most of the time in any group because there is an  
obvious solution or everyone, in that instance, shares a common aim,  
but when there is no best or even clearly good enough solution or  
people do not have a common aim, trying to use consensus can be self- 
defeating.

It has generally been the assumption that the forming stage is the  
practice ground for consensus decision-making and you have to use it  
from the beginning or not use it at all. I think this example and  
others bring this into question.

They are also good examples of a frank and caring discussion being  
effective. I once had a student in an independent study course who  
kept missing appointments and when he did show up hadn't been able to  
accomplish his work. But he had been referred by a colleague in  
another department and I didn't want to look like a failure.

With fear and trepidation, I finally said to the student that  
independent study might not be the best for him. He was so relieved.  
He hadn't wanted to do it in the first place but felt obligated to  
follow through.

Sometimes people just don't know how to withdraw. If they are having  
problems adjusting to the group, they may also be having problems  
disengaging.

Sharon Villines
Save Our Planet; it's the only one with chocolate.