Cohousing-L Mailing List: A story remembered from Diana's email

[Rob Sandelin (floriferous]

Over many years of various NICA and cohousing gatherings I have met some
interesting people.  I remember a NICA gathering once where a community
seeker demanded to be paid to join any community. Not only did she want free
room and board she wanted a salary. Nobody took her seriously but somebody
nicely asked her what she would do for her salary and free room and board.
She acted all insulted and went off on a rant about corporate greed taking
over intentional communities. Later she bullied her way into the front of
the food line and when politely asked if she would be willing to wait in
line like the rest of us she went off on another rant which I found
insulting and apparently several other people did because she was the talk
of the gathering after that. I was one of the last to leave, and my car was
packed with tables and gear and people from the gathering and we passed her
by on the road hitchhiking. Since my car was full I did not pick her up and
it led to an lively discussion in the car about reaping what you sow in
community.As we drove I learned that apparently she had asked several people
for rides at the last day of the gathering and NOBODY gave her a ride. I was
surprised to learn this and it posed a sort of moral dilemma for those in
the car and we reached a consensus that after dropping off our first rider I
would drive back and if she was still on the road, give her a ride.

When we returned she was still on the road so we picked her up. As we all
expected, she was not the least bit grateful, but went off on another rant.
We endured her negativity during the ride and we all pooled what funds we
had, gave it to her and dropped her off at the bus station with best wishes.
She flipped us off and stormed away. She was obviously full of unhappiness,
turning every act and word of kindness into a slight.

The point of this story is I was struck by the patient and kind tone of
Diana's response and while our good faith efforts and works may be ignored
or even misinterpreted, it is worth making those efforts, not because it
helps our image or curries favor, but because it is the right thing to do.  

Thanks again Diana

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood Community
Snohomish County, WA