Cohousing-L Mailing List: Teens and Chores in Community

[Thomas Lofft (tlofft]

What can kids and teens do? 

What do they like to do?

What can improve the community lifestyle?

What can kids and teens find fun at?

What can they learn better by doing than they can by listening to pontific 
lectures and watching soporific videos in their classrooms?

 

Here's an example of a creative initiative by a sixth grader:

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/04/21/AR2009042103579.html

 

Kids and teens can:

Write creative journals of a community history;

Garden and harvest;

Create and maintain compost bins;

Manage recycling;

Care for, entertain and teach younger children;

Care for pets;

Be community photo historians;

Serve as guides for visitors children;

Create fundraising and promotional efforts for viable community causes;

Run the ZTR to mow the village green;

 

 

What is our expectation at Liberty Village?

 

We expect that all residents will put the community interest higher than 
personal interest.

There are no 'rules' on community participation.  There is general 
acknowledgement that everyone has preferences as to what they would rather do 
out of personal preference, and what they can do best of all the things they 
might possibly do, and sometimes simply what they would rather do to the best 
of their ability rather than see someone else attempt to do poorly.

 

As a community of 18 households, we are generally well aware of who's doing 
what, whether it is facilitating meetings, taking meeting minutes, child care, 
fixing community dinner, negotiating the community development loan, 
rototilling the community garden, keeping the books, cleaning the commons, 
planting another garden, or any of a myriad list of ongoing community building 
or maintentnce items.  Workdays are scheduled, task lists are published, 
participation is voluntary, no one takes role or keeps score.

 

Children see their parents participating and learn by example more than they do 
by dictum.

 

The following is excerpted from the community website:

 

THE CULTURE OF LIBERTY VILLAGE
Final Copy
Consented on 5/15/04
I. PEOPLE
A. Self-selecting membership: We ask anyone considering living here to learn 
about Liberty Village by following our membership pathway as outlined in our 
Checklist for Prospective Buyers.
B. Relationships: Liberty Village supports deep interpersonal connections among 
members. Members offer support and encourage sharing of the good and the bad. 
However, if at any time a member is uncomfortable with the level of intimacy in 
a conversation or discussion, they may say so and withdraw
from the discussion.
C. Committed Partnerships: We respect the vows of marriage and the agreements 
of other committed partnerships. When there is a conflict between partners, the 
community is available to both partners for encouragement and support.
D. Children's Representation: Although children may not have the same rights 
and responsibilities as adults, their interests are represented in all decision 
making as equally valued members of the
community.
E. Parenting: We recognize that parents rear children as they see fit, keeping 
in mind that parents are responsible for their children's actions, health, 
safety, and welfare. Any form of shared parenting is voluntary. However, any 
adult may interrupt a child's behavior if there is a safety concern or an issue 
with respecting a person or property.
 
The rest can be found at this link:
http://www.libertyvillage.com/New_members/Culture%20of%20Liberty%20Village.pdf
 
Yes, much of it may be termed as merely semantics, but if we had avoided all 
the international armed conflicts resulting from merely sementic differences, 
especially those couched in or misinterpreted in religious terms, perhaps we 
might have a world more at peace.
 
Tom Lofft
 
Date: Mon, 20 Apr 2009 10:37:31 -0700 (PDT)
From: Scott Bentley <sleeper40 [at] sbcglobal.net>
Subject: [C-L]_ Teens and Chores in Community
To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
Message-ID: <360117.9513.qm [at] web81202.mail.mud.yahoo.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
 
Thanks for your response Tom,
?
When you say, "make it voluntary to the extent of self selection of the tasks 
thet they are most interested in undertaking", do you mean that there is an 
expectation, or agreement, or however it is termed, that the teens will 
participate, and it is just that they choose how they want to participate?? 
Yes, I guess another angle to ask you this is in what way does your community 
"seek to engage their participation as members of the community"?

Regarding the "agreements/rules" questioning, that is a discussion that is just 
beginning in our community right now. We have always created "policies" and 
there have been suggestions that we use "agreements" instead.? In my thinking, 
they operate very similarly, but I know peoples perceptions may be different 
related to connotations of specific words used...very valid point of course.  
So I can answer that we certainly are not, nor are we looking to be 
authoritarian or hierarchical in our structure (though there is inevitably in 
any human system, at least an unofficial hierarchy of power/influence, which is 
inherent and unavoidable, sometimes imperceptible to some, and not necessarily 
oppressive in any sense of the word). But point well taken, and we have no 
desire to begin a rebellion here at La Querecia!!


Thanks, Scott

?
Teens and Chores in Community  
From: Thomas Lofft (tloffthotmail.com) 
Date: Sun, 19 Apr 2009 20:53:06 -0700 (PDT) 
RE: Scott Bantley's query: I believe that you will get the greatest 
participation from teens on the same basis as from adults: make it voluntary to 
the extent of self selection of the tasks thet they are most interested in 
undertaking. Seek to engage their participation as members of the community and 
they may surprise you with their creativity and initiative. I continue to think 
of cohousing as hopefully a grassroots originated, egalitarian community that 
lives and operates best by agreements, not by rules. Rules are by definition, 
top down, authoritarian, imposed from above by the powerful on the powerless. 
If that's how you want to treat your teens, don't be too surprised if they 
react as any other oppressed underclass. 
 



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