Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: limited-access events in common space

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On Feb 21, 2010, at 1:57 PM, Muriel Kranowski wrote:

> Once you have made this one of your marketing points, as we did,  
> then it
> seems unfair to say "No, it's really a COMMON house and you can't  
> use it as
> though it were your living room."

I think this is a good analogy. What would you do in your own living  
room?

The original question involved other members of the community, not  
personal friends from outside the community.

Would you hold a meeting in your home and exclude other people living  
there? On what basis? Age, interest, self-defined affinity, externally  
defined affinity, etc.

How would they be informed that this is a private event? Or would you  
inform them at all?

Certainly, members of families hold events in their homes that include  
or exclude teenagers, dog haters, adults, non-poker players, etc., but  
I think they would consider the feelings of all members of the  
household, whether there was a policy about it or not.

This came up on the list a long time ago in respect to children's  
birthday parties. A party was held with only part of the children in  
the community with no explanation. The child and her parent happened  
on her friends having a party without her "in her living room."

One of the things cohousing is about is inclusion, especially in the  
common house.

And it's one reason people move into cohousing -- exclusivity isn't a  
value.

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org