Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: limited-access events in common space

[Eris Weaver (eris]

Kristen Simmons wrote:

> Is this how most communities manage the common house? Are all events
> required to be open to the entire community? (Maybe I'm misreading,
> and if so, I apologize. I know that this is part of a longer thread,
> and I haven't gone back and read all of it.)

Here at FrogSong (Cotati, CA), we are able to reserve the Common House for
private events that are not open to the entire community. Meetings of groups
we belong to, family parties, workshops or classes for which one pays
admission, etc.  It is generally not a problem. Events are posted ahead of
time, residents are still able to come in and get their mail, laundry, etc.

(Things like kids birthday parties, wedding receptions, etc. DO intend to
include everyone.)

We do have multiple common spaces, and are a large-ish community (30
households). My guess is that the concerns over feeling excluded may come up
more in smaller communities or those with smaller common houses - there's so
much going on here, and so many people, no one expects to be involved in
everything!  There are multiple rooms so if someone's having a big "do" in
the great room, my committee can go meet upstairs, the kids can go play in
the kids room, etc.  

Also, we have been here 6 1/2 years, there were more concerns about CH use
in the early days - fears about it being overbooked, more concerns about
inclusivity, concerns about what types of events, etc. All of that has
mellowed out.  

This also is common in communities - before move in, we have lots of
concerns/worries/hopes/ideals etc. about a LOT of aspects of community life,
some of us try to anticipate every possible problem that could arise, etc.
Once we are actually living it, we can see what actually happens, and make
decisions/policies based on experienced reality rather than what we
think/hope/fear MIGHT happen.
------------------------------
Eris Weaver, Facilitator & Group Process Consultant
eris [at] erisweaver.info
707-338-8589
http://www.erisweaver.info


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