Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: What Is Process?

[Don Benson (benson6451]

Process is Much more than a decision.  Process is what happens between any 
living beings, all the time.  Love, anger, friction, support, help, attraction, 
repulsion, etc.  In these postings about consensus, it is useful to notice and 
perhaps think about the differences between a consensus culture and consensus 
decision making.  
E.g.  
  - sales is more than the close (think education)
  - Building relationships and courting that does or does not lead a marriage 
(think ongoing friendship)
 - I am sure you can think of others

Our experience will continue to be disappointing when we explore consensus and 
choose to have that mean only Consensus Decision Making, and particularly as an 
event with no attention to the context/culture.  The development of a consensus 
culture is not accidental.  It takes more than a designed space to encourage 
deep engagement around personal, complex or emotional issues, or consultants 
that ignore the critical importance of other processes in the community 
(association meetings, work party, meals, other events) that will not 
automatically result in more than the casual conversations that are different 
from what we experience outside our community settings.  

There is more to this than what I have posted here, deep psychology, sociology, 
history, cultural differences, differences in personal interpretation 
(behavior) of community core values, etc.

This is the ongoing challenge in all dimension of all relationships - 
spiritual, emotional, physical, mental, financial, etc., but obviously made 
harder when in community. 

Don Benson
503.296.7249

It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility and occupation which give 
happiness.   (Thomas Jefferson 1788)

On Jan 14, 2013, at 12:14 PM, Sharon Villines <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com> 
wrote:

> 
> My question is what is process if it isn't intended to produce a decision? 
> 
> A process could be designed to help people feel better about each other or 
> understand the other points of view, but I would also consider that to be a 
> decision eventually because the parties would decide if it worked or not.
> 
> Why wouldn't a process be designed to produce a decision? Am I missing a 
> definition?
> 
>