Cohousing-L Mailing List: Question about "dining clubs"

[Diana Carroll (dianaecarroll]

On Saturday, September 14, 2013, Sharon Villines wrote:

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>
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> In 13 years, no one has ever had an event for some community members that
> excluded other community members in the common house.  It just wouldn't
> happen. It would be rude.
>
> So it's an unwritten social rule to define that as "rude". I don't think
is a given that all people would define it that way. I certainly wouldn't.

For example, I have formed a few very close friendships with some people in
my community....I don't think I'm required to be BFFs with everyone just
because I am with a few!  If I want to get together with my Besties, maybe
for a small celebration of some milestone, that's a gathering of about 3-4
community friends and another 4-5 outside folks...too big for my house. So,
I'd use the CH. I'd be bewildered if someone accused me of rudeness for
wanting to hang with my buds.

So "it's rude" is a particular opinion but for sure not universal amongst
cohousers.  If its a commonly held view at Takoma, that would explain why
people don't do it!  Who wants to be vied as rude by neighbors?  :-(