Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Question about "dining clubs"

[Muriel Kranowski (murielk]

I've been following this discussion with great interest. I think that 
common meals are a unique situation within any cohousing community, and 
therefore I don't think you can draw a meaningful analogy (actual or 
theoretical) between dining clubs and other private groupings that may arise.

For example, if the really good table table players in my community created 
an invitation-only league that met once a week in the CH rec room, the 
mediocre players might be irritated, but it seems only fair to let a few 
members enjoy the game at their higher level of play once a week even if 
that lowers the level of available competition for the others, and in any 
case this activity is not the bedrock of the community.

But common meals are really important in cohousing. The only other truly 
unifying and distinctive cohousing activity I can think of is governance, 
to the extent that people choose to (or are obliged to) participate in it, 
and I guess workshare but that isn't necessarily done as a group.

This being the case, the question stands: Is it right and even necessary 
for cohousing communities to discourage or try to restrict private eating 
groups?

Is it right only if the private groups appear to hurt the common meals 
program? Or is it enough if the excluded argue that it's bad for the 
community, as has been expressed in this thread?

What about the needs and desires of individual community members to enjoy a 
more intimate and peaceful dining experience with a small group with whom 
they can connect deeply - can't cohousing have room for that as well as the 
y'all come common meals model? There's no good substitute for that 
experience, just as there's no good analogy for the competition this 
creates with common meals.

    Muriel
    seeing both sides and still not sure, at Shadowlake Village, Blacksburg