Cohousing-L Mailing List: Question about "dining clubs"

[Rod Lambert (rod]

Muriel,
Yes, some good points you've added and I think it's important to not 
lose sight of one of the things that Sharon asked.
Should exclusive dining clubs be just/mostly in people's houses or 
should they be in the Common House?
As a personal opinion, I feel that "a sense of belonging" is at the 
heart of what our community is about and those things that detract from 
it should be managed thoughtfully especially if it's in the Common 
House. It would be unthinkable to exclude someone from joining our table 
at a Common House meal for instance.
It's certainly true here that when someone loses their sense of 
belonging, becoming detached and rarely seen, it's usually not long 
before their house goes up for sale.

Rod
EcoVillage at Ithaca, NY


On 9/18/2013 6:16 AM, cohousing-l-request [at] cohousing.org wrote:
> Date: Tue, 17 Sep 2013 21:45:27 -0400
> From: Muriel Kranowski<murielk [at] vt.edu>
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Question about "dining clubs"
> To: Cohousing-L<cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
> Message-ID:<6.2.1.2.1.20130917205924.067da210 [at] imap.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed
>
> I've been following this discussion with great interest. I think that
> common meals are a unique situation within any cohousing community, and
> therefore I don't think you can draw a meaningful analogy (actual or
> theoretical) between dining clubs and other private groupings that may arise.
>
> For example, if the really good table table players in my community created
> an invitation-only league that met once a week in the CH rec room, the
> mediocre players might be irritated, but it seems only fair to let a few
> members enjoy the game at their higher level of play once a week even if
> that lowers the level of available competition for the others, and in any
> case this activity is not the bedrock of the community.
>
> But common meals are really important in cohousing. The only other truly
> unifying and distinctive cohousing activity I can think of is governance,
> to the extent that people choose to (or are obliged to) participate in it,
> and I guess workshare but that isn't necessarily done as a group.
>
> This being the case, the question stands: Is it right and even necessary
> for cohousing communities to discourage or try to restrict private eating
> groups?
>
> Is it right only if the private groups appear to hurt the common meals
> program? Or is it enough if the excluded argue that it's bad for the
> community, as has been expressed in this thread?
>
> What about the needs and desires of individual community members to enjoy a
> more intimate and peaceful dining experience with a small group with whom
> they can connect deeply - can't cohousing have room for that as well as the
> y'all come common meals model? There's no good substitute for that
> experience, just as there's no good analogy for the competition this
> creates with common meals.
>
>       Muriel
>       seeing both sides and still not sure, at Shadowlake Village, Blacksburg