Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Question about "dining clubs"

[Saunders, Rich (greymont]

On 2013-09-16 11:09, Richart Keller wrote: 

> Seems to me that the notion of exclusive "private clubs" in cohousing
> undermines its basic benefit. I think its important and natural for
> people to want to do things with those with whom they feel most
> comfortable. However formalizing small exclusive groups breaks up the
> overall sense of community which is central to successful cohousing. It
> creates a breeding ground for discrimination and factionalism. The veils of
> secrecy which result are the antithesis of an open supportive community.
> The practice resurrects the dysfunctional aspects of American society for
> which cohousing is supposed to be an alternative.

Gee, Mom! It's *my* birthday party, isn't it? Don't I get to invite who
I want? 

Sure, son, you can invite whomever you want. 

There was a time I would have said no. That was when I thought our
village should be one big happy family and everyone should do everything
together. But now I recognize that such a notion is just not sustainable
and downright weird. Even such institutions as birthday parties cannot
involve the whole community every time. 

We should recognize its the *opportunity for community* that's important
- not forcing community on everyone when they don't want it.