Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Small "retrofit" "community"

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On Nov 6, 2013, at 6:35 AM, MJWB <mjwyogini [at] yahoo.com> wrote:

>   After being sent a link to a from for the current residents to fill out, 
> the current owner of the units
> stepped in and basically said that it was too soon to "fill out any forms," 
> even though this form is
> absolutely preliminary, and doesn't guarantee help from the Partnership; but 
> basically an intake form.

With only four units an intake form may be a little formal. I find forms to be 
over the top, personally. The only ones I agree to fill out are the expense 
reimbursement forms because those are records for the audit, or just for 
reviewing the books ourselves. I think what you really need at this point is 
contact information so you can keep in touch and inform people of progress. You 
will want to put out information so those who are just thinking about this can 
stay in touch. And if this fails, you can look for another property to develop. 
You may need all those lurkers.

> he has to step back and allow everyone to have an equal say in matters. He 
> then replied that he wanted something out of this, all the sweat equity he's 
> put in, etc..etc. and paying the mortgage for years...which I understand.

You might make the financial settlement clearer. He has invested a good part of 
his life in this and should be compensated, just the same as if you were 
purchasing from someone you didn't know. For most people their home is their 
savings. It represents many years of work and his own mortgage payments. Not 
being compensated is like handing over your pension fund to someone. Not 
everyone can afford to do that.

Separate the formation of the community from the sale of the building. Everyone 
wants to live in a community they are comfortable with. That's on purpose of 
the forming stage -- to see if these people have the same idea of living 
together that you have. 

Many people believe that people should make a commitment to cohousing first, 
rather than ask about real estate and financial requirements first. But as one 
person said, I don't want to get emotionally attached to something I can't 
afford. He may be feeling the same way. 

For him to do this would be the same as getting married and moving into the 
house your partner had owned for years. Very hard adjustment for the owner.

>    He's stated that he's wanted to be in Cohousing for years and years, and 
> now that there's a chance to form our
> own little community, he and his wife are stepping back. I feel as if I've 
> been stopped cold in pursuing this any further.

Look for another building and allow him to be part of the group. He may begin 
to see it as a group venture.

> he wanted to continue to be a "Landlord"but still have a 
> community. I don't think it works that way at all. What do you all 
> think? Thank you for any responses. Take care,

I agree. If this is possible at all, putting together a financial agreement and 
beginning to form a community will be the best way to let him see what is 
possible and what is not. 

I would also be more clear about what you want. Unless you are very young, you 
also have your expectations. Someone said, "The burden of deciding what kind of 
life you want to live is very easy to hand over to someone else." 

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org