Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Privacy for Introverts

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

> On Sep 29, 2015, at 5:03 AM, Marilyn Seiler <marilynseiler72 [at] gmail.com> 
> wrote:
> 
> How does your community address the outside-the-home privacy needs for the 
> introverts of your cohousing community? Is privacy primarily INSIDE the home 
> or are adaptations such as privacy fences allowed and used?  What other 
> measures or means are you using to promote a sense of privacy for those who 
> have high privacy needs? 

I think most people here are aware when someone wants conversation or not. The 
person who needs privacy might ask for it generally. Explain in an email to 
everyone. And also learn some tips on signaling the desire to be alone or not 
talk.

Here, people are often sitting on their porches reading or whatever when I pass 
by on my way to the street. If they look up or say hello, I talk to them. If 
they don’t, I assume they want quietude.

I’ve found that if I want privacy in public, never to knit, for example. People 
talk to me all the time — in train stations, the Metro, etc. But if I read a 
book or pretend to, they don’t even say hello. They talk to me more if I’m 
working on my laptop than if I’m writing by hand. Have no idea why that is.

A woman posted on the list that when she was wearing a hat, please don’t even 
say good morning. She was posting because one person in her community refused 
to respect that. 

On the other hand a parent wanted to have dinner alone with her son in the 
piazza when other children, his friends, were normally playing there. The 
parent was upset that the children and other people wouldn’t leave them alone. 
Both her son and the other children were uncomfortable. You can’t go to an 
active busy space full of friends and expect to be alone. The parent switched 
to her deck, which of course was better.

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org