Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: guest post on privacy in cohousing?

[Beverly Jones Redekop (beverly.jones.redekop]

During our marketing and building stage, I volunteered with tours. We built
traditional coho units with front and back porches, and people loved
hearing about the purpose of having two porches each. I don't know if the
idea was from Katie and Chuck’s book or from Chuck’s slideshow,  but I
repeated it on every tour: Our community is about balance. Many
garage-oriented neighbourhoods today have too much privacy and some of the
sixties experiments had too much connection. It turns out that people need
both connection and privacy. If you're reading a book outside on a sunny
day, your porch choice serves as communication to your neighbours. Reading
on your back porch means you're enjoying the same solitude as if you had
your own acreage somewhere. You're not in a snit; you're just enjoying
quiet and your own company, so no one will interrupt you by talking to
you.  Now, your front porch is a different story! You have announced that
you are fair game! You would love to be asked all kinds of questions : What
are you reading? Would you like to come pick carrots? What tree should we
plant? Would you like some tea? Etc...!

Front porches are for connection and back porches and yards are for
solitude. We have 2.5 acres around the homes and 20 acres of farmland to
share, so it's fine to fence your little 20' deep backyard for privacy.
Maybe it's for pets, maybe it's for toddlers (following/chasing is often
fun but sometimes exhausting), maybe it's to be able to pick strawberries
in your pyjamas before you've brushed your teeth in the morning. In both
the regular world and cohousing, when you invite friends to your house for
a party, everyone understands that you are offering access to your living
room and kitchen, but not to your bedroom. Reserving some privacy is
healthy. You can love cohousing connection while also nurturing your energy
with a quiet and beautiful outdoor retreat.

We are in Yarrow, BC, which is an hour east of Vancouver.
www.groundswellcohousing.ca (one pending sale plus one left for sale!)

On Sun, Oct 4, 2015, 10:57 AM Nancy Csuti <nancycsuti [at] gmail.com> wrote:

>
> As a person wanting to live in co housing when the opportunity arises, I
> wondered about fencing in space for a dog. Not for my privacy but to let a
> dog out. The ones I've visited have common dog areas but they need to be on
> a leash... And not as easy as just opening the door.
> It could be that those asking about privacy just have pets.
>
> Nancy in CO.
>
>
>
>
> > On Oct 4, 2015, at 11:28, Sharon Villines <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com>
> wrote:
> >
> >
> >
> >>> On Oct 4, 2015, at 12:40 AM, R Philip Dowds <rpdowds [at] comcast.net>
> wrote:
> >>
> >> That's a variant of introvert / extrovert with which I was not
> familiar, and I have no quarrel with it.  But I think the question of
> origin was, Is there something special about cohousing that makes it
> particularly difficult to find time alone?  Or, enjoy private family time?
> >
> > I think it drifted into why one would want private time and, if they
> did, why would they choose to live ini cohousing?
> >
> > There was a thread years ago about families moving out because the
> parents wanted more control over their children. The children wanted to
> play with the other children to much. They wanted the tradition of family
> dinners. That kind of thing is hard for children when it isn’t a community
> norm.
> >
> > Sharon
> > ----
> > Sharon Villines
> > Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
> > http://www.takomavillage.org
> >
> >
> >
> >
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