Cohousing-L Mailing List: Joani's news

[Diana Leafe Christian (diana]

> Dear Joani,

        My hat goes off to you and my heart goes open for you, in the way 
you’re dealing with this. I so appreciate that you’re being straightforward and 
direct, and letting your many, many friends who appreciate you know what you do 
and don’t want. 
        When I know that I’ll be dying soon I plan to do the same, and have a 
big celebration too, which hopefully I’ll attend as well. Then I’ll check 
myself into a hospice. My very elderly mother, Rosetta Neff, whom some of my 
cohousing friends have met, recently grew ill and it became worse. We went to 
live in a hospice — which was _wonderful_, and she passed away peacefully, not 
in pain, and surrounded by love and kindness, three weeks later. Then our whole 
community hosted a Celebration of Rosetta’s Life, which people loved. And I 
loved it, and I’m hoping my mom was there and hope she loved it. We played 
Glenn Miller Big Band music, her favorite music from when she was young.
        I appreciate and respect the choice to face death, deal with it well, 
and celebrate. (Once I read a metaphysical book with the line, “Death is 
perfectly safe.”)        
        When you know the date in September of your Celebration, please let us 
know. 

        Sending love and appreciation,

        Diana

> I have very recently received a diagnosis of metastatic pancreatic 
> cancer. It is a very aggressive form of cancer with a poor prognosis, 
> and it is likely that I do not have a lot of time left.For that reason, 
> I intend to treat only my symptoms, not the disease itself, because I 
> want to enjoy myself and not feel sick during whatever time remains.
> 
> People often don?t know how to respond to a cancer announcement, so let 
> me tell you what will work and not work for me.
> 
> Please don?t say something like, ?Let me tell you abouta book you should 
> read/some herbs you should take/a meditation practice that will help 
> you.? In other words I prefer not to hear advice or suggestions at this 
> time.Instead, try something like, "That really sucks" or "I?m sad/sorry 
> you?re sick? and/or if you are close by, you might offer me a 
> hug.There?s no need to offer your help; I know that I will have it 
> should I ask for it, and I will ask if I need or want it.
> 
> Watch for details of a Celebration of My Life (which I plan to attend) 
> probably in September.
>