Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: WaPo article about aging without kids

[Elizabeth Magill (pastorlizm]

Watching my in-laws refuse to be helped such that they are now stuck far away 
and not healthy enough to be moved….(and my parents are younger but refusing 
also to be helped.)

and watching a coho neighbor refuse to be helped

and then this message which I think says “I’d rather be homeless than have my 
kids help me”

suggests that part of the problem is that I need to learn how to let other 
people do the help that they *can* do.

At the same time, if I can’t pay my mortgage, or I can’t pay my condo fee, and 
I haven’t made arrangements around that, I don’t see how the rest of the coho 
community is supposed to rescue me? Should they use their own retirement 
savings? 

If its just me that did that, I can’t imagine they’d kick me out for non-condo 
fee payment (they would put a lien on the house get that money back when the 
house is sold). 
But the bank will mostly certainly foreclose on me—which is not the communities 
fault, right?

But if 10 of us failed to pay our condo fee, the community couldn’t survive 
without doing something to get paid.

As a 55 year old adult without kids, my reaction to the WP article is that I’m 
not sure what my friends can do if I become like my in-laws or parents. Both 
that non-family can’t make medical decisions for me, can’t push me out of my 
home, and if I won’t listen, they can’t make me accept the help I may need. 

-Liz
(The Rev.) Elizabeth M. Magill
www.ecclesiaministriesmission.org
www.mosaic-commons.org
508-450-0431




> On Aug 25, 2016, at 10:44 PM, Virgil Huston <virgil.huston1955 [at] 
> gmail.com> wrote:
> 

> [snip]... I will be homeless (with my dog, that is essential). I completely 
> agree
> that we of a certain age need to plan for our old age and cohousing
> with like minded people is attractive. However, I am not sure it is
> the answer. I have seen stuff about old folks being basically kicked
> out of cohousing because they can't contribute as they are expected
> to. Or they can't afford the condo fees anymore. We need cohousing
> that works from fully able adult to hospice. ….

>> Aging Solo: Okay, I don’t have a child to help me, but I do have a plan
>> 
>> https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/aging-solo-okay-i-dont-have-a-child-to-help-me-but-i-do-have-a-plan/2016/08/15/2af75e9a-49c7-11e6-90a8-fb84201e0645_story.html
>>