Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: "specialized" cohousing [was Cohousing for Senior Artists]

[Dick Margulis (dick]

This is an interesting question. My experience after several years of 
effort to attract people to the idea of cohousing in Connecticut is that 
not one person, straight or gay, has ever broached the notion of joining 
our community to find a partner. People are either living singly by 
choice (or necessity) and intend to continue doing so or they are 
already part of a couple or family. Those who are still seeking a 
partner seem to be not ready to commit to purchasing a home, and this 
seems natural.

Now I realize that people already living in cohousing communities 
sometimes split up (I'm thinking of one divorced couple in Massachusetts 
who now live, amicably, across from one another in the same community). 
Conversely, I know that some "forming" couples consider buying a home 
together.

So I'm not saying it could never happen that single people move in and 
later become partners. And perhaps others with broader experience will 
weigh in on how often this happens. It just seems counterintuitive.

As for moving into a community that is mostly straight, define "mostly." 
Our group includes a few gay couples (two at the moment, but others have 
been part of the group over the years and have since moved on for one 
reason or another) and perhaps some gay singles (I haven't asked). They 
don't constitute a majority, but they are a significant fraction. I've 
assumed that's typical, but maybe I'm wrong.

Dick
www.rockycorner.org



> --------------------  FORWARDED MESSAGE FOLLOWS --------------------
>
> I have a question about this subject.  What if you're single and queer and
> you move into co-housing that is mostly or all straight.  Wouldn't that
> make it harder to find a partner?
>
> Liz