Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: bullying behavior

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

> On Jun 12, 2020, at 10:21 AM, Mac Thomson via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] 
> cohousing.org> wrote:
> 
> A book I found incredibly useful: Taking Charge: A Parent and Teacher Guide 
> to Loving Discipline by Jo Anne Nordling

Another helpful resource is the Super Nanny, Jo Frost, episodes and her book. 
One reason they are so helpful is that they deal with very specific behaviors 
and expectations. In the exact situation is often very hard to apply 
philosophy. The program is supposed to return to Lifetime (I think) sometime in 
2020. Some of the old episodes are on YouTube.

A note of explanation — I used to cringe whenever Super Nanny would tell 
children that they were being naughty. “Weren’t you? You were being naughty.” 
It seemed shaming and out of line with everything else.

During the news coverage when William and Kate were about to be married, the 
headmaster at Kate’s school said, "Oh yes. She was one of the naughty ones. 
Just a bit on that side of things.” I was surprised he would say that and 
wondered if he would have a job the next day. But the interviewer explained 
that “naughty” in Britain doesn’t have the same meaning as in the US. It means 
something like being mischievous in a playful way. No sexual overtones either.

One of my favorite episodes focused on a 2 year old who refused to stay in bed 
at bedtime. After months and months of this, he was seriously degrading the 
parent’s relationship for a variety of reasons. Jo said “You put him to bed, 
read a story, and say goodnight. When he comes out, you calmly take him by the 
hand back to bed. Don’t explain or say anything. He understands.” 

The child came out 25 times. 25! But the next night he came out once.

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org