Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: shunning article breaking through the paywall

[Tom Smyth (tom]

>
> What I like is how it gives ways to deal with the silent treatment. I
> understand someone needing to cool off (I need time to process myself) but
> shunning is something harmful and in this article they say it is abusive.
> So, here are some tools to help a community when they see this behavior.


Certainly the silent treatment when deployed in the ways depicted in this
article is not an effective way to deal with conflict, and could certainly
be considered as abusive in many cases. But I am not sure that "the silent
treatment" and "ostracism" are the same thing, and I'm not sure the
situation is always so cut and dried. I am curious about what happens when
a community member is being abusive to *others* in the community and
refuses to engage in any efforts toward accountability and/or is continuing
the harmful behavior. Is social ostracism not warranted in extreme cases
such as this? Certainly nothing to be used lightly and without extensive
efforts at alternate solutions. But I'm not sure that ostracism is always
abusive. Curious what others think.

-- 
Tom Smyth

Worker-Owner, Sassafras Tech Collective
Specializing in innovative, usable tech for social change
sassafras.coop · @sassafrastech
Pronouns: he/him