Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Latest article, "Especially Challenging Behaviors" in community, now available, and at Coho Conference

[Kathleen Lowry (kathleenlowrylpcclmft]

Diane thank you very much-I found your articles to be extremely helpful 
especially in describing the details of narcissistic population in communities 
and how they seek control by manipulation lies and indifference. It seems that 
addiction to control requires a group intervention not unlike other addictions 
interventions but there aren’t any treatment centers for narcissists that I am 
aware of thanks again
> On Aug 24, 2022, at 4:21 PM, Diana Leafe Christian <diana [at] ic.org> wrote:
> 
> Hello,
> 
> For cohousers who may be concerned about what I call "especially challenging 
> behaviors" in community, the third article in my series on this topic, 
> "Working Effectively with Especially Challenging Behaviors," is now available 
> in the Fall 2022 issue of Communities magazine, just out a few days ago.  
> 
> The first article describes the kinds of particularly challenging behaviors 
> I'm talking about — not your normal, ordinary difficult behaviors, but 
> especially egregious behaviors that often have negative effects on the 
> community. And a quick overview of three things individual community members 
> can do to protect themselves from the effects of these behaviors.
> 
> The second article goes into detail about one of the first things we can do, 
> which is to learn as much as we can about these behaviors re what mental 
> health professionals say, and what they recommend we do. Including two 
> suggested books and three different video series on youtube, to make learning 
> more about these behaviors relatively easy (and with the videos, completely 
> free). And a quick overview of what we can learn from these books and videos 
> . . .  knowledge that helps us know what to expect — and _not_ expect — from 
> fellow community members who may do these behaviors
> 
> The these two articles are available on this Communities magazine webpage : 
> gen-us.net/DLC
> 
> The third article -- out just now in the Fall 2022 issue -- goes into detail 
> about other ways individuals can protect themselves from these behaviors, 
> focusing especially on setting limits and boundaries. All three articles have 
> examples of real "challenging behavior" situations in real communities, and 
> what people have done in response that has worked well.
> 
> I assure you I do _not_ suggest that people who do these behaviors are "bad," 
> or that we blame or vilify them. Rather, I encourage us to feel compassion 
> for them (once we've learned more, and know the factors that cause them to do 
> these behaviors). And that we feel compassion _while at the same time_ we 
> also protect ourselves as best we can. 
> 
> And . . . if you're attending the Cohousing Conference in Madison, my 
> breakout workshop  on this topic, with the same title, "Working Effectively 
> with Especially Challenging Behaviors," is scheduled for this Sunday, Aug. 
> 28, 11:00 am to 12:30 pm. It's hosted by cohouser Laurie Frank, and features 
> a video recording of me narrating my slide show on this topic. In the slide 
> show I suggest six things individuals can do to protect themselves. 
> 
> The slide show  _also_ describes three things groups of friends in community 
> can do to help each other, and three things communities can do to protect the 
> community as a whole — all topics of future articles in the magazine series. 
> 
> However, this last part of the recording won't be  in the 11:00am-12:30pm 
> workshop on Sunday as there wasn't enough time. Rather, these topics in the 
> the recording will be available with a link to a folder on Google Drive. The 
> folder also has the first two articles and various workshop handouts with 
> more details about some of the ways individuals, groups of friends, and whole 
> communities can protect themselves from the effects of these behaviors. 
> Laurie Frank will send that link to participants in that workshop.
> 
> I'm very grateful to Coho/US, and to Laurie Frank as workshop host, for this 
> kind and helpful way they've arranged for me to present this information at 
> the conference, even though I'm not attending in person this year. 
> 
> Diana Leafe Christian
> 
> 
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