Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Voluntary Community Participation?

[Kathleen Lowry (kathleenlowrylpcclmft]

Hi Ed and others: To repeat  my lost email and  comment: (My apologies.)

I am a deeply and broadly  trained couples and family therapist who follows in 
part the work of Alfred Adler (equal in importance to Freud and Jung). Adler’s 
emphasis was on community, families and parenting. He said teaching cooperation 
and social interest is the  primary parenting role, and primary predictors of 
mental health.

Adler also famously said: “ There is harmony only among equals. “

We aren’t in my view born “sinful”but most of us have to be carefully taught by 
caregivers or others to cooperate and pitch in.

Equality of time and effort is considered essential to a happy partnership and 
healthy families, that is, equality of play time, self-care time etc. and 
contribution time. For example, kids contribute by doing what they are capable 
of, (by age 4 or younger they can load the clothes washer) and grandparents 
might contribute by representing the family as a reading tutor in a school 
setting. 

Adler also said “spoiled children grow into angry adults” so even those not 
expected to contribute equally become resentful (and inevitably less respected) 
as well. (Very possibly not consciously.)

This is rich ground for growth in couples and families. 

For example, food coops have been good examples of the Little Red Hen 
philosophy. 

I’d love to hear what various  communities are doing in this regard (sense of 
equality) and how it’s working-how it affects the community spirit and 
experience of trust and joy in community. 

For all I know the above re Adler doesn’t apply to communities at all. Thanks. 
Kathleen




> On Jan 4, 2023, at 6:11 AM, Ed Sutton via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] 
> cohousing.org> wrote:
> 
> Eno Commons’ founding principles include “voluntary participation,” i.e. no 
> one is required to participate in the work of caring for the community, and 
> there is no penalty for non-participation.
> 
> Our low HOA dues were established with an assumption of a high level of 
> resident care work.The small group of neighbors who are struggling to care 
> for common property are questioning the wisdom of continuing this 
> arrangement. 
> 
> Are there any other co-housing communities successfully operating after 25 
> years of laissez-faire resident participation?
> 
> Ed Sutton
> Eno Commons
> _________________________________________________________________
> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
> http://L.cohousing.org/info
> 
> 
>