Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Racial Diversity in Cohousing

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

> On Feb 18, 2023, at 9:46 AM, Zev Paiss <zevpaiss [at] gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> When white folks think of diversity, they imagine having at least one black, 
> Hispanic, and Asian household in their community to help satisfy their desire 
> for racial diversity. From the perspective of the black community they would 
> begin with 50% black households and go from there. I am curious how us lilly 
> white residents would feel living in a cohousing neighborhood where 50% of 
> your neighbors are black, use language you might consider offensive. (Yo 
> nigga wass up?) and sharing meals where vegan and vegetarian options are 
> nowhere to be seen?

Exactly, well said. 

My other insight on diversity in cohousing is that we don’t celebrate the 
diversity we have now. Everyone appears white, middle-class, college educated, 
etc. But that reduces who we are to what we are defined as in counting systems. 
All of us learn very quickly to adopt the habits of the mainstream to appear to 
fit in. We absorb those categories to avoid standing out. No one likes to stand 
out, or almost no one.

There are probably more than the usual reasons given that people are forming 
senior cohousing communities. By pruning down to the needs of fewer generations 
they are reducing diversity. It’s less demanding. Everyone is more alike.

I recently turned 80 and am finding that I no longer have a category on forms 
or questionnaires. Life stops at 65. 80 is not 65 just as 65 is not 50. Or 50 
is not 35. 

My background is also not middle-class or college educated. No matter what I 
have become or appear to be, half my extended family doesn’t believe in 
evolution, which I still find hard to admit. College is not an expectation. 
Many don’t read newspapers or watch TV news much less read any focused journals 
or online resources. Or use the library after they leave school.

A member of my community recently said I was using dog-whistle language in a 
discussion about anti-racism. That many black people were just one step away 
from houses without bathrooms and coal-burning stoves so to talk about that was 
"singling them out." I had to explain to someone who has known me for _20_ 
years that I was talking about myself. Christmas to me means the smell of coal 
burning and the outhouse because that was when we went to my grandmother’s 
house. 

It took me a long time to understand what “soul food” was because on the other 
side of my family, what is now defined as "soul food" was just food. Everyone 
ate the same thing. It was Southern. I had to re-learn the history of food to 
understand what they were talking about up in Harlem.

I’m sure there are tons of other examples of diversity in our communities. We 
would do well, I think to find ways to discover the ways we are diverse. Not 
just “white, middle-class, or college educated.” 

(I no longer check the box for white — I write in European American or choose 
mixed race if it is available.)

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org