Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Racial Diversity

[Crystal Farmer (crystalbyrdfarmer]

Sorry that my replies are not threading correctly! I'm using my phone
mostly.

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I am appreciating this conversation about a topic that is important to our
Burns Village and Farm members. Crystal, please say more about why people
"have found it generally unsafe" to live in cohousing. Thank you. Rebecca
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I think the initial anecdote about the Black pastor was telling. Repeating
stories like that reinforces the stereotype that Black people all use
language like that or are otherwise bad neighbors because of their
"culture." I think we need to be careful when we tell secondhand stories,
especially when they cross cultures and inevitably lose some context.
There's a 100% chance white teenagers are using that language in cohousing
communities, but no one assumes their parents might be a bad fit. (There
was also the assumption that people would love to live with Black people
because of their "culture," which is just as problematic. Not all Black
cultures are the same.)

There are members of the BIPOC Council (www.bipocicc.org) who are middle
class, vegan/vegetarian, and Black. They have gone on community tours and
been asked rude questions. They show up at events and feel isolated or
tokenized. They live in communities and have the police called on their
children. Basically they are subject to microaggressions, and I have always
said that is the number 1 reason there is no diversity in intentional
communities. It's not worth it.

Also I have no problem with the diverse backgrounds that white people have
among themselves. It's worth recognizing, but not when it side steps the
conversation about the assumptions made or repeated about Black people.
Negative or positive, when you bring those assumptions to real people who
want to live with you, you push them away.

I'm really sad that this listserv is having the same conversation over and
over, and the Black people who get these emails have to be the ones to push
back against these narratives yet again. (Thanks to Abe Ross who chimed up
as well.)

Crystal Byrd Farmer
(I should probably put a plug in for my book which has been out since 2020
and many cohousing communities have found helpful. It's called The Token:
Common Sense Ideas for Increasing Diversity in Your Organization. My FIC
course is opening up registration soon as well.)