Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Diversity

[Linda Gryczan (lindagryczan]

I have been reading this thread with interest and dismay, and have thought my 
best contribution was to be silent and reflect on any challenges. As a group, 
we have been thoughtful, and at times have take up way too much space being 
defensive. As a long time white lesbian organizer, parts of the discussion look 
eerily familiar. 

In what I call my Rent-a-Dyke mode, I have spent years educating others about 
the reality of LGBTQ, Intersex and Two Spirit lives. It takes energy. A lot of 
energy. 

Sometimes I have not taken the time to word my responses to cause the least 
offense. Sometimes I’ve been asked to hear what some other LGBTQ+ person has 
said to justify an opinion. More times than I can count, someone has decided to 
tell me about some awful event that reminds me that some people don’t want me 
in their world. We humans, when hearing something upsetting, too often take it 
to a person most impacted. 

My request to all of us is to write less and listen more. When a BIPOC has 
taken the time to explain their thoughts, please recognize that as a gift. A 
gift that has taken energy. Maybe you would like it to be worded differently. 
It is still a gift. Recognize the gift is there to help us create a world with 
more justice. Listen to each other’s intent. Reflect. Resist the urge to 
explain ourselves. Please don’t ask people to be your POC equivalent of 
Rent-a-Dyke.   

Please write less and listen more. 

Linda Gryczan
Helena, MT