Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Facilitation/mediation help needed in Eugene at River Song Cohousing

[R Philip Dowds (rphilipdowds]

I am guessing that people like Karen and Laird, when hired and “on duty”, 
picture themselves as bringing a reliable, professional-level neutrality to the 
debate — always irrespective of their personal views on smoking, nuclear 
proliferation, whatever.  Part of their professional skill and ethic is to set 
personal preference aside.  Mostly, anyway.

So:  I understand that you see this topic as too hot to self-mediate.  But what 
are your expectations for a neutral “outside”  mediator?  Would this be 
somebody who has lived without controversy in both smoking and non-smoking 
communities?  Somebody well-trained in the latest ventilation technologies?  
Somebody who has never heard of “smoking”?  A Board-certified psychoanalyst?  
What are you looking for, really?  Why couldn’t Karen, or somebody similar 
found through CohoUS, be adequate to the task?

———————————
Thanks,
Philip Dowds
Cornerstone Cohousing
Cambridge, MA

> On Jun 15, 2025, at 12:29 AM, Frances Spector <kaukafran [at] gmail.com> 
> wrote:
> 
> Hello friends! Our 2 1/2 year old Cohousing community of 28 households In
> Eugene is trying to create a smoking policy that everyone can live with and
> we need facilitation from someone who also is experienced with conflict
> resolution.  (Yes, we should have done it already and as we all know life
> happens.)  We anticipate one 3 hour in person meeting with a shorter
> followup meeting that can be virtual. We have guest accommodations and of
> course would feed you!
> 
> We have several people who have taken Karen Gimnig's and Laird Schaub's
> courses and practiced the necessary skills while living here but some of
> our members only feel trust that an outside personwill be neutral.
> 
> We recognize what a big commitment this is and are open to either a
> reciprocity arrangement (plus expenses) with another community or to paying
> fully for time and travel. Geographical proximity would be helpful.
> 
> I can provide details to anyone who think We are open to any type of
> arrangement from pay for services. My # is 808 769 2227, and/or email me
> privately kaukafran [at] gmail.com
> 
> Yours in community!
> 
> 
> 
> -- 
> *Frances Spector*
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