Cohousing-L Mailing List: Moving out, aging founders, varieties of communities

[fernselzer [at] aol.com (fernselzer]

Hi all,




I’m responding to the thread about Sharon moving, the variety of community 
types, and the realities for founders in the community.




Of the original group who created our agreements and found the property for New 
Brighton Cohousing (11 townhomes), I’m the only one still living here. Over the 
17 years since we began, the community has naturally evolved — as it should — 
but I now find myself the only person here who knows  the importance of staying 
connected with the  broader cohousing movement.




I was drawn to  cohousing wisdom because it offered a framework for  living 
cooperatively with neighbors. It anticipates conflict and offers tools for 
navigating it. My prior experience in a conventional neighborhood taught me how 
easily unresolved disputes over fences, animals, parking, or noise can turn 
into years of silence, sides-taking, and resentment. But beyond that original 
attraction for me, I’ve found that the larger cohousing community offers a much 
larger collected body of valuable knowledge for community, sharing property and 
lives.  




Today, I’m concerned that even long-time residents in our community may not 
understand or value the support and insight available from the wider cohousing 
network. None of them seems to read this list-serve or has pursued additional 
training on their own time, and we no longer hold orientations or regular 
trainings as we once did. Earlier members received extensive orientation — both 
before and after joining — but our most recent buyers met with just one 
neighbor before legally committing to buying in.



We used to have a steering committee who met infrequently.  It was  made up of 
some of us familiar with cohousing who discussed the big picture and offered 
foresight and leadership to the community and committees.  A lot of that comes 
from knowing what goes on in other communities and how it is handled.  Now 
there seems to be little interest by anyone to be on a steering committee.  
Without forethought, certain things fall through the cracks and will come up as 
urgent and unplanned in the future.  



People here still see the value of community — the fun, the connection, the 
support for conflict resolution, the shared work — but what feels missing is 
the deeper wisdom that comes from engaging with the larger cohousing community. 
For me, that has always been a kind of safety net. And now, as I contemplate 
moving on in the next year or so, I feel not just sadness, but worry. I fear I 
may leave it  with experienced pilots, but no equipment for navigating deep 
waters.




I’d love to hear if others have had similar experiences or have advice.

Also, I’m really missing Laird. Any suggestions?




Warmly,

Fern

New Brighton Cohousing
Aptos CA