Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Laird Schaub and Participation

[Lisa Kuntz (lisa.kuntz]

We have not had such meetings, but participation is a hot topic in our
community for many reasons.

Expectations the residents bring to the community affect their attitude
towards participation and towards efforts to discuss it.

Differing perspectives and experiences:

   - Why did you choose to live in cohousing and were you aware that the
   traditional version is connected to a national organization?
   - How aware were you of the history of cohousing and that living in
   community is challenging and for that reason there are many resources
   available to help negotiate conflicts, governance, participation
   expectations, and more?  In what ways have you engaged with the larger
   cohousing community, expanded your knowledge and explored the differences
   between the ideals that brought you to (your version) of cohousing and the
   realities of functioning in an actual cohousing community?
   - How aware were you of what "self-management" means in terms of ideals
   of the cohousing movement, not just as a business orientation?
   - Where do you find meaning in living in and contributing to your
   community? W*hat does participation mean to you (I think this is a big
   question that would bring up a lot of responses)? *Do the ways you
   participate energize you or do they drag you down and cause resentment? In
   terms of culture and community dynamics, are you aware of the 80:20 dynamic
   that is characteristic of most groups (20% of the community does 80% of the
   "work." I'm glad of challenges to this statement!)
   - We've all got a *You're not the boss of me! *part. I don't know of
   anyone who doesn't react to what feels like punishment or efforts to
   control their behavior or attitude.  How intense is that part of you that
   can be rebellious and hyper-individualistic?  Moving from *me *to *we *is
   one of the biggest obstacles to being satisfied in the (traditional)
   cohousing culture. How do you work with that rebellious part and use your
   power and energy wisely and in ways that benefit you and the community?
   - What ideas do you have for making residents aware of the value of
   their contributions to the community? How aware are residents of the
   *positive* impact on their financial and social  investments when they
   contribute to maintaining the social and physical aspects of the community?
   For example, I think potential buyers are more likely to be attracted to a
   warm, welcoming and functional community that is proud of their
   well-maintained and well-organized campus than one that shows signs of
   neglect?  How can we capitalize on the joy of contributing to ideals that
   are larger than our "small" selves?

This is a quick snapshot of my thoughts.

I'd enjoy hearing from others.

Lisa Kuntz
Daybreak Cohousing
Portland OR

On Mon, Jun 30, 2025 at 7:23 AM Linda Hobbet <coho [at] lindahobbet.com> wrote:

> Hi,
>
> In his course on Participation Laird described a meeting in which
> everyone is asked to describe how they are contributing to the community
> and whether they think they are doing too little or too much. He said he
> had led such sessions in multiple groups and it was always received
> positively. He also recommended a participation team whose task was to
> talk to members and help them find ways of participating in positively
> ways. The role of the team was not to police participation.
>
> Have any communities followed this plan, especially without Laird to
> lead sessions? How well has it worked and is there any advice to help it
> be successful?
>
> Thank you,
> Linda Hobbet
>
> --
> VillageHearthCohousing.com
> 706-202-7178
> coho [at] lindahobbet.com
>
> "When you plant a seed of love, it is you that blooms.”
>                                                     Ma Jaya
>
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