Cohousing-L Mailing List: an alternative analysis:burden/help/disruption

['Judith Wisdom (wisdom]

Mark Frauenglass recently posted some comments on his experience with a 
disruptive mentally handicapped person.  In his post he concludes "he'd 
[Mark] would draw the line when it [a handicap of another] becomes a 
burden to me."

I think none of us want to have people living near us disrupt our peace 
and freedom.  But out of coho communities it happens regularly because of 
the tensions in society and the failure of that same society to provide 
remedy and help for its disruptive members and protection for its 
nondisruptive ones.

But I was uncomfortable with what Mark went on to say.  He then described 
another handicapped person in the community "who looks after himself and 
it is no problem.  But I would draw the line when it becomes a burden to me."

Maybe Mark meant only that he didn't want unruly disruption.  But the 
latter part sounded like if a neighbor did have some special needs and 
couldn't fully "look out for himself" he'd be considered a burden and 
beyond "the line." 

Heck.  When I was growing up in a tight working class neighborhood, 
although people were highly private, to a fault, help for the infirm was 
an assumed part of what being a good neighbor was.  Is that not something 
that should be part of coho and even more so?  I thought so.  But from 
what Mark said, it didn't sound so.

I hope I'm misinterpreting.  Perhaps he's been burnt by the disruption.  
And I can sympathize.  I'm experiencing malicious disruption from a 
neighbor right now.  And I'm not well, which makes it worse. But, if 
we're to only like the "handicapped" who look out entirely for themselves 
and ask nothing of others, I wonder in what sense it's proper to call 
your place a community.

For those who haven't seen my paper that touches on the need for 
community when your not fully able, it's available.  

URL:  http://seclab.cs.ucdavis.edu/~stanifor/articles/cfs.html

Judith Wisdom