RE: Strategies to deal with a difficult member? | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Rob Sandelin (Floriferousmsn.com) | |
Date: Fri, 23 May 1997 09:03:35 -0500 |
The magic question I ask when I mediate difficult issues is why? Why are you so emotionally caught up in this issue? Why are you angry? Why are you standing in the way of the entire group on this issue? Why is this worth all the negative energy that is going around on this issue. Why are you not getting what you need? Why are you afraid to speak up in meetings? What I discover, more often than not, is that usually the issue at hand is just a carrier for something else. Sometimes its an expression of powerlessness, sometimes its a cry for recognition. Sometimes its a disillusionment with the lack of support or closeness of the group. Sometimes it's a rebellion against domineering personalities that tend to run things and like it that way. Another issue where this comes up is when you have a group that is run and dominated by task driven personalities, and they run over the process oriented personalities. People have very distinct personality styles that shapes how they approach working with groups, and these are often cause for friction. Each personality type has specific needs, and when you learn how to recognize these and work with them, the world becomes so much easier. To run an effective group process takes work, trained facilitation, and a willingness to stand in each others shoes to see what is happening. Have you defined the specific behaviors in the person that cause the problem? Have you talked with the individual about their behavior and what it does? Or are you just a frustrated task oriented person trying to understand and deal with a process oriented person and doing so badly because you have no patience for process? If your group starts becoming dysfunctional and people start not attending meetings I reccomend you bring in a good, effective meeting facilitator to teach you how to run effective meetings. I do such a workshop but it requires a whole weekend commitment and also quite a bit of actual follow through on the tools. Rob Sandelin Sharingwood Cedar Village (forming) -
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Strategies to deal with a difficult member? MelaSilva, May 22 1997
- Re: Strategies to deal with a difficult member? Kevin Wolf, May 22 1997
- RE: Strategies to deal with a difficult member? Rob Sandelin, May 23 1997
- Re: Strategies to deal with a difficult member? BIGONY, May 23 1997
- Re:Strategies to deal with a difficult member? Daniel Nachbar, May 23 1997
- RE: Strategies to deal with a difficult member? MartyR707, May 23 1997
- Re: Strategies to deal with a difficult member? MelaSilva, May 29 1997
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