Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Personal Announcements at Community Meetings

[Fred H. Olson (fholson]

Robyn Williams  Fremantle, Western Australia  <zen [at] iinet.net.au>
is the author of the message below but due to a problem it was posted
by the Fred the list manager: owner-cohousing-L [at] cohousing.org
--------------------  FORWARDED MESSAGE FOLLOWS --------------------


Nice thread Kim and the responses are all really good information..

At Pinakarri, before each business meeting, we generally start with a
'sharing'.  This may mean different things to different people.  To me,
it's the group equivalent of asking someone, 'How are you today?' and
being sincerely interested in their response.  A typical round of
responses at Pinakarri might be; 'I've had a terrible week or day, but I'm
feeling OK now', 'I'm feeling flat and tired - I don't really feel like
being here - I might leave soon', 'Yeh, life is good, busy', 'Pass', 'I
realised something this week ...'.  This basic 'sharing' is really useful
before getting into issues, the discussion and outcomes of which can be
coloured by the mood of individuals. 

Pinakarri roughly means 'listen deeply / deep listening' - we are proud to
have been given the blessing of the Aboriginal Nyangamarta people to use
it.  Pinakarri is our touchstone.  It informs our processes, especially if
we are going off the rails. So we also hold 'a Pinakarri'.  This is
usually a specific gathering where business is not discussed.  It is an
opportunity to listen to each other, deeply.  Sometimes it may be on a
topic, eg 'parenting and children in community'; which may be guided, ie
someone poses a couple of questions or points, eg your fears/hopes/what's
working now re parenting in community. 

Sometimes it's a talking stick or heart circle.  This can get quite
emotional for some people.  Some are comfortable to bare it all, some are
more reserved - I've been in all of the possible camps at various times. 
I have felt frustrated and impatient at times, listening to people moan
about their miserable lives; I've moaned about my miserable life, etc. 
The net result is the deep bonding of the group - we are connected via our
frailties as well as our personas.  At a personal level these sharings
have been a positive catalyst for my own growth, begging my patience and
compassion and vulnerability. 

There needs to be clear agreements and parameters.  There can be a fine
line between a heart circle and a group therapy session.  And I feel
strongly that this is not an opportunity to hide behind the group's skirts
to have a go at another person about a personal matter.  (This happens!) 

Start simply and let it happen with little more than a gentle prod.

That's enough.

Warmest regards
Robyn Williams
Pinakarri Community
Fremantle, Western Australia