Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Beyond Polyamory: Other Sex and Relationship Issues in

[Hans Tilstra (hanstilstra]

Interesting examples.

First, stating my biases, I train the topic of relationships to staff in
human services; providing incentives to be clear and by the book. I also
have a decidedly Western outlook, with my perceptions shaped by my life in
the Netherlands, the US, New Zealand & now Australia.

Only two examples stand out for me, 9 and 13. Suspected child abuse may need
to be checked, not because of the cohousing context, but for moral and legal
reasons. The degree of exposure to sexually explicit videos may need to be
raised in parent-to-parent conversations could take place. Again, I'd find
it a bit Cuban to have the topic on agendas.

The theme that seems to underline the threat is one of boundaries. What is
my issue and what is yours? I imagine that Thomas Gorden's Parent
Effectiveness Training series can be adapted to have a Cohousing
Effectiveness Training version. Where are the I-messages etc.? I get quite a
few evangelising messages, and rather few stories of individuals who felt
quite cut off or isolated due to quite legal behaviour between consenting
adults. I experience the tone of the discussion one of irritability and one
saying "hey, don't touch my beliefs about how society at large should be".

Hans

Hans