Re: Mixing Children with Business (longish)
From: Unnat (zeniinet.net.au)
Date: Sun, 30 Apr 2000 17:45:58 -0600 (MDT)
Hi Dave

What is the purpose of the children attending the meeting?  To contribute or
to visit their parents?

We had on site childcare for the 8 years before we moved in - most of us had
children, many of us as sole parents - the children were always free to
visit their parents during the meeting which happened less and less as they
got older.  The deal was that if a child stayed in the meeting to be with
their parent, they had to sit quietly (drawing, easy craft, cuddles, etc).
If they wanted to play, make noise, they had to go back to the other
kids/carer.  If the child was too disruptive in the meeting, too young to
understand the boundaries, or if the parent wasn't guiding their behaviour
then the parent (or another familiar adult) would take the child out for
some one-on-one attention so that the meeting could continue. We usually
tried to bring the children in for a song/game at the end of the meeting,
incorporated celebrations, shared a cake, etc.  Occasionally, we would
design a meeting to incorporate child input - let them (and everyone) loose
with crayons and big paper to draw their community/house/ideal playground.
One interesting note - when our meetings became 'unstuck' because of
tension, conflict, etc, that was usually the time when the kids would trail
in, one after another.  This pattern was repeated many times, they seemed to
sense the stress and return to their parents.  This is a good time to STOP
the business and bow to their intuitive wisdom - a five minute kid's thing
at these points is worth gold.

It sounds as though you may hold your meetings at night which is really
hard.  If the children are youngish then their inclination is to cuddle up
with their parent, which is not the same as being quiet, especially when
tired!  What about a kid's song to start the meeting as the cue to go to
childcare and let their folks get on with it.  Also, ask the children about
what's going on - is the carer giving them what they want?  Perhaps they
need a story circle and settling activities rather than free play.  Age
needs differ, etc.  Be creative and flexible.  We used to meet on Sunday
mornings - at least the kids felt refreshed  :0)

My experience is that men usually have more difficulty dealing with
children's disruption than the women.  I admit that as my child got older,
my tolerence decreased a bit.  On the other side of all this, our older
children are pretty good facilitators and have learnt many skills through
the experience of gathering - cooperative work, conflict management,
persistence of purpose.  But they don't need or want to be there all the
time.

Wait till the building starts - they really love that!

Warmest regards
Robyn Williams
Pinakarri Community
Fremantle, Western Australia
  • (no other messages in thread)

Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.