Re: Re: [C-L] Commonhouse Air
From: Elizabeth Stevenson (tamgoddessattbi.com)
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2003 18:05:01 -0700 (MST)
Wow, Racheli, this is a huge problem with a scope that goes way beyond
cohousing. My son has an invisible disability, and even some who have lived
with us in cohousing for 10 years have trouble believing it, in their
hearts. Many of those with hidden disabilities are made to feel very alone
by this. Cohousing should be a place where we don't feel alone unless we
want to. 

But there is a constant tension between the relief that we have in living
with like-minded people (perhaps a fatigue from the constant demands of
living in an ever right-moving Bushy world?), and the acceptance of
individuals as they are. People think that finally they can relax and be
with people like them, and find out that there is more interpersonal work to
do. They shut down, or deny there's a problem.

My experience has been that eventually, most people learn to accept this
thing they don't fully understand, and grow. It takes much patience and
pushiness on the part of the person who is trying to be understood. It ain't
for sissies.

-- 
Liz Stevenson
Southside Park Cohousing
Sacramento, California
tamgoddess [at] attbi.com



> 

> I think you underestimate people's ability to live in denial. It seems
> that some of those who don't suffer have an incredibly hard time believing
> the difficulties a few of us might be having-
> since, after all, the "disability" is invisible.
> I agree with Lynn that the issue is that of accessibility.  Without a
> wheelchair, though, how do you "prove" to people you're having a problem?
> 
> R.

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