How committed is your group to diversity? | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Diana Chung (ladididoyahoo.com) | |
Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2005 15:57:30 -0700 (PDT) |
Hi All- I've been looking at a lot of cohousing sites and everyone says they're committed to a diverse group. However, almost all the groups are white, educated, and middle class (WEMs). I'm not a sociologist, but as a person of color, I'd like to ask some tough questions in the form of scenarios. These are BEYOND the obvious ones (e.g. how do you recruit non English speakers, how to you increase the number of affordable units). I'll also put in my answer. 1) You're sitting at dinner with someone who doesn't speak English as her first language. You're struggling to have a conversation, when another person who speaks her native tongue sits down next to you. Suddenly, the two of them start chatting away. What do you do? How do you feel? Answer: If you've ever lived/visited somewhere where English isn't the primary language, you've probably gravitated towards someone who spoke English, even if you were studying a language abroad. It is exhausting not to speak your mother tongue, and by the end of the day, most of us just want to eat in comfort. (This is true of many African Americans too, who get tired of talking white.) If you're committed to diversity, don't take it as an insult or a snub if the other parties speak in a language you don't understand. Instead, make an effort to learn another tongue; after all, as a WEM, you've spent the whole day communicating in your mother tongue. Why not try to put yourself in someone else's shoes? 2) You're having a group meeting and one family insists on bringing their young children. When you tell them that a babysitter is available for a small fee, they tell you that they don't think the costs make sense. When you insist that children cannot attend, only the father comes to the meetings. What should you do? Answer: In many non-WEM cultures, children are not excluded, but readily accepted at all functions attended to by the family, or at least by the women. If some talk needs to take place without children attending, the head of household (usually the eldest male) will speak on everyone's behalf. Frankly, I don't think the male head can speak for all the family, especially with regards to the needs of the children. However, even if the babysitting were free, many mothers may not feel comfortable leaving their children with someone who looks/talk/acts differently. If group want to be fair, people should try to allow children to attend. Most adults can quickly learn to tune out kids and children can learn to be quiet. Otherwise, every effort should take place to hire babysitters that are in the same ethnic group as the attendees, perhaps even having an extended family member (such as an abuela) do the babysitting. Finally, if that doesn't work, arrange a women and children only group, seperate from the men's group. Many women will speak more freely without the men there. 3) You've moved into your cohousing. You non-WEM neighbor seems to have guests and relative over ALL the time. They are always fighting and always seem to be in the public space. They do karaoke all weekend! What do you do? Answer: WEMs are, by and large, quiet people. My husband (who's mostly WEM) used to think my family was always fighting until he realized, that's just the volume and intensity of our talk. I find that most people, especially children, once they join in on all the hububb, tend to enjoy it. Even the shy ones like looking at all the activity. So instead of trying to block all the people and noise and activity, join in. If not, build your private spaces with extra acoustic insulation and extend the transition space from public to private. There are many people, including people of color, who will read this and claim this is only my opinion. They're right. However, that doesn't mean this discussion isn't important. In fact, any cohousing group that don't process these and/or other such scenarios really haven't done the work of exploring diversity. These WEMs are "committed to diversity" in name only and I suspect their membership will reflect that. Diana Chung 130 E. San Fernando St #509 San Jose, CA 95112 503-752-3938 ladidido [at] yahoo.com __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Small Business - Try our new resources site! http://smallbusiness.yahoo.com/resources/
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How committed is your group to diversity? Diana Chung, April 14 2005
- Re: How committed is your group to diversity? Dahako, April 15 2005
- Re: How committed is your group to diversity? Grace Potts, April 15 2005
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