Cohousing-L Mailing List: asking a favor for communities book I'm writing

[Communities Magazine (christian_d1]

Hello,



            This is Diana Christian, writing from Earthaven in North  
Carolina, writing to ask a favor.



            I'm in the final stages of writing a book about how to  
research, visit, evaluate, and join ecovillages and other sustainable  
communities. (It's called Finding the Ecovillage or Sustainable  
Community of Your Dreams: A Field Guide. Out next spring from New  
Society Publishers.)



            For this book, I‘m seeking anecdotes about funny,  
delightful, or disturbing things that have happened to communities  
when people visited them or were in the new-member process.



            And, abut funny, delightful, or disturbing things that  
happened to the people who were visiting or joining the community.



             If you’ve got an anecdote like this, from your  
experiences living in community, or, in visiting communities, I’d  
love it if you’d write them up and email them to me.



            I want to let community seekers know what to expect when  
they visit and consider communities, and also what to do that is  
beneficial for them and the community, and what, Egads, not to do.  
(Don't show up with all your dogs in the car. Don't show up without  
asking first. Don't show up and expect to have any and all questions  
answered by anyone handy, anytime you feel like asking them. etc.)



            Here are some examples of the kind of brief anecdotes  
I'm looking for.



            In one small urban community, when the community members  
oriented a new person coming in, they forgot to tell the new person  
that they routinely walked through the house to their hot tub in  
either their underwear, or a towel, or sometimes nude. The new person  
was offended by all the naked skin, and told them so. Ooops--the  
community forgot to check this out with them at the outset. It was  
pretty uncomfortable for the community members to have to put on  
clothes just to walk through their own house. They didn't forget to  
talk about this with future incoming members. (I don't actually know  
what happened to the offended new member.)



            Once at Earthaven at 10:30 on a Tuesday night, a vanload  
of community seekers pulled up to our Council Hall as two different  
committees who had been meeting there were wrapping up their  
meetings.  The 6 visitors, including their spiritual teacher, an  
Eastern European woman with a thick accent and a loud, stentorian  
voice, burst into the hall, all breathless with excitement to be  
there, and so glad to have finally arrived, cause it was dark and  
they’d gotten lost. So glad to finally be there and find us at last;  
they'd been driving all day and trying to find the place. But they  
didn't have much time, as they needed to head out that night. "Ve're  
here for da Tour!" announced the Guru-ess. And I, who like to think  
I'm funny sometimes, walked up to her and said, deadpan, "Oh, you  
mean the Tuesday night at 10:30 tour?"  My friends in the two  
committees cracked up, since obviously no community would offer a  
tour at near-bedtime on a weeknight. But my chance to make a funny  
and not-too-subtle point was lost on the visitors.

            "Yes,” boomed their leader. “Ve vould!".



            Once a woman called Earthaven’s our kitchen telephone  
number and called, and told the young woman who answered that she was  
on a communities tour, she was coming over to see Earthaven, and she  
wanted directions. "We don't have tours on Wednesday afternoons,"  
said the young woman who answered the phone. "And we don't have  
camping facilities for visitors after October; it's too cold." (And  
how did the visitor get our kitchen phone number anyway?) Then ensued  
essentially heated words between our member and the caller, who  
insisted that if we were any kind of ecovillage at all, we'd offer  
hospitality. We'd be welcoming. We'd go out of our way to help  
someone--someone who might join the community and help us!--to get  
there, stay there, and take a tour. The young woman, who was busy  
trying to cook dinner, tried unsuccessfully various times to get the  
caller to understand that we weren't open, didn't have camping,  
didn't have a tour that day and wouldn't create one for her  
especially, and would she please come on a Saturday morning when we  
did have tours. Finally our member got fed up and said heatedly,  
"Look, I'm going to look up your address on the Internet and come  
over to your house tomorrow afternoon with five of my friends and  
open your back door and insist on a tour of your kitchen!"  The point  
was taken.



            Once a group of people had finished the Saturday tour  
and were wandering around the central Earthaven neighborhood, which  
we don't encourage them to do. They happened upon a young man who was  
tending his garden out in front of his tiny off-grid timber-framed  
earth-plastered cabin, not far from the community's constructed  
wetlands. It was so tempting--the visitors couldn't help but barrage  
him with questions--his solar panels, his earth plaster, the  
constructed wetlands--all so exciting. But he was just trying to weed  
his garden in peace. Finally, after he'd answered too many questions  
on what was supposed to be his day off, he finally snapped and said,  
"Look, this isn't Eco-World!"



            Thanks very much for any help you can send. It will be  
much appreciated!



            Diana Christian



Communities Magazine: www.ic.org; store.ic.org

Diana Leafe Christian: www.DianaLeafeChristian.org