Re: Disallusioned with cohousing
From: Jeanne-Marie (
Date: Tue, 27 Jun 2006 16:37:35 -0700 (PDT)
This sounds to me similar to a marriage... may I have this post for  the
couples I work with?



-----Original Message-----
From: Rob Sandelin [mailto:floriferous [at]]
Sent: Tuesday, June 27, 2006 2:45 PM
To: 'Cohousing-L'
Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Disallusioned with cohousing

My comments after living in cohousing awhile:

Live it for five years, then evaluate the reality. Trying to evaluate
relationships within the context of a forming group doing real estate
development will give anybody a skewed perspective of the reality of life in
cohousing. Once you move in things should change considerably.  So move in,
live there five years. By then systems will have shaken down, people least
likely to succeed will have left and you will have a pretty close
approximation of what the rest of the time there will be like.

And I expect after five years experience you will be able to distinguish
between your own baggage and what the reality is. People come to community
with all kinds of expecations, some of them quite unreasonable. But after a
while you will figure out that.....its not about YOU or what you
want.......and once you figure that out, you should be able to craft a good
relationship with community reality. If you never figure that out you are
unlikely EVER to find a community life that is satisfactory.

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood Resident 15 years, 8 months, 11 days.
Naturalist, Writer
The Environmental Science School
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