|Re: Inter-generational Integration efforts||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: dahako (dahakoaol.com)|
|Date: Sun, 15 Apr 2007 09:54:48 -0700 (PDT)|
Hi - At Eno Commons, the pre-move preparation was mostly having a lot of social events together and sort of acculturating to each other. One of the funny things that happened was that one member (cough*Robert Heinich*cough) told us when we joined with our two little ones that he didn't like kids and they didn't like him. He used to tell the toddlers and slightly older kids that he was going to grill them and eat them with ketchup and mustard. To his surprise, the kids loved this. One day, Robert arrived at our house for a pancake breakfast/business meeting and our son Harry, who was 2-1/2 and still not speaking, ran away from Robert as he arrived at the door only to return a moment later with the ketchup. Harry handed the ketchup to Robert, and pointed to one of the other toddlers, clearly indicating who Robert was to snack on first. After that, Robert sneaked the kids chocolate (yes, I noticed), painted his house mustard/ketchup/mayo colors, and took on the job of organizing babysitting for meetings because he felt the parents were too busy. He's also a sucker for babies. The transformative power of getting to know each other is amazing. At Eastern Village, we also brought the kids to all sorts of community activities. Just before move-in, the parents and kids formulated some provisional kid rules that were never formally adopted, although they were presented to the community and discussed a couple of times. I think the main thing was that the parents of on-site kids gave the non-parents permission to send any kid home for any reason, and certain areas of the development were made off-limits for play for safety reasons (elevators, fire stairs, workshop, kitchen, and the green roof w/ supervision). We have discussed and updated the kid rules once, but still not formally adopted them (more than 2 years on site). We have had some bumps, and are having a pretty big baby boom, so I guess we may need to get more formal soon. In general, I'm a fan of Rob Sandelin's advice to not make more rules than you need to before you move in. For child policy especially, until your community makes the transition from talking about "this family's kids" to "our community's kids", you will not get the rules right anyway. Jessie Handforth Kome Eastern Village Cohousing Silver Spring, Maryland "Where some of my neighbors explained over Friday night dinner how I could speed up my internet connection - and I was able to do it myself first try. And another neighbor got tired of her music and is working her way through our CD collection and sharing hers with us. And lately, most of the community business seems to be getting done at the Village Knit-Wits get togethers." -----Original Message----- From: Becky [at] Pulito.us To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org Sent: Thu, 12 Apr 2007 12:30 AM Subject: [C-L]_ Inter-generational Integration efforts Hello! I have a question to pose mainly geared towards established (aka, built and moved-in) communities. But if you have an opinion or idea, and you are pre-move-in, I am of course interested in your information as well. Bear with me. I cannot find a way to ask this question in a simple sentence or two, so here goes. I am interested to know what, if anything, your community did to prepare your members for living together in community, particularly in regards to children. Did you hold a discussion about expectations, concerns, requests? If you have policies or guidelines addressing concerns around children specifically, did you formulate them before move-in, and if so, how? And if you intentionally did not create such policy/guidelines, what was your reasoning? How did you learn what the wants and needs were within your membership? How did you address such a delicate subject? We have families with children, and we have couples and singles without children. We haven't expressly communicated about any expectations or concerns we may have. I'm sure we all have different ideas of "the way things will be". We need to communicate. We are having a hard time finding a good way to do that. Our meetings have a distinctly businesslike feel, so we are having difficulty figuring out how a discussion such as this could fit into our typical meeting structure. We've considered creative ways of integrating adults and children in certain activities, but some members bristle at the idea of forced or artificial integration. How to smooth the communication pathways and figure out. whatever we need to figure out?? Many thanks, ~Becky, Camelot Cohousing, Berlin, MA _________________________________________________________________ Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at: http://www.cohousing.org/cohousing-L/ ________________________________________________________________________ AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at AOL.com.
- Inter-generational Integration efforts Becky M. Pulito, April 11 2007
Re: Inter-generational Integration efforts Tree Bressen, May 3 2007
- Opening up business meetings to other topics for discussion Rob Sandelin, May 3 2007
- Re: Inter-generational integration efforts Becky M. Pulito, April 17 2007
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