Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: superbia!

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On Apr 2, 2008, at 2:52 PM, mrbouchez06 [at] aol.com wrote:

> My concept would not necessarily involve people
> buying here to live  in community but people already living here  
> embracing the
> concept of intentional  community and providing the means to  
> facilitate that.

One person who had given up on getting a cohousing group started  
decided to work on her new neighborhood. She made bags of apples and  
attached an invitation to a pot luck at her house the following  
Sunday. She put the bags on the door handles of her neighbor's houses.  
And was very discouraged that no one sent rsvps.

But on Sunday, everyone showed up. After the meal and introductions,  
she started a conversation about what she needed from neighbors and  
encouraged them to do the same. What she needed, for example, was  
someone who could watch one child while she suddenly had to go to a  
school to pick up a sick child basically someone she could call in an  
emergency. And they were off on developing more community.

One person I know said that in several years, her neighbor had never  
acknowledged her presence even though they had adjoining car ports.  
One day she asked him if he could help her in an emergency. Ever after  
he was very friendly and initiating conversations and offers of help.

So I think the take away is don't start a conversation on a  
theoretical level about how great cohousing is and why don't we do it  
here. Many people don't want theories in their homes. They will,  
however, respond to practical needs or meaningful neighborhood social  
events.

One need my neighbors in the larger community have mentioned is a tool  
library. They then discovered that a library in a nearby neighborhood  
had a tool library and another place rented tools, but if they hadn't,  
a local tool library in someone's garage would have been a possibility  
for interaction and sharing on a practical level.

Personally, I don't think social events alone develop community, that  
social events come _after_ relationships are formed on a practical  
level. Even social clubs have a practical purpose -- a place to have  
dinner or host guests, a private golf course when there weren't any  
public courses, business contacts, etc.

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines in Washington DC
Where all roads lead to Casablanca