Cohousing-L Mailing List: Why I like Cohousing

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

After my post yesterday on the problems (for me) with meals, I was  
asked why I like cohousing. I thought it was a good question and may  
start a thread. First another experience with meals.

I tried to start a children's meal where a different parent cooked  
each night and was served promptly at 5:30. Kids meals -- macaroni and  
cheese, pancakes, chicken legs and mashed potatoes, and grilled cheese  
sandwiches with bland cheese, etc. Those parents who couldn't get home  
to cook could clean up. It never happened because none of the parents  
would commit to cooking once every other week. But I pass it along  
because someone else might use the idea. I think 7:00 or 7:15 is just  
too late for kids to eat and be in bed by 8:30 or  9:00.

Why I like cohousing:

1. Because a single mother of a 3 and 6 year olds knows that if she  
has an emergency illness or an accident, there are 12 homes where her  
children would be welcome and taken care of for at least 24 hours --  
and that the children would not only be happy but would think it was a  
real treat.

2. Because when a single man got a call at 2:00 in the after noon  
asking if he would consider one year old twins instead of one 3 year  
old and to think about it over the weekend, he could send a notice out  
at 8:00 that he was having twins in an hour. No one knew about the  
2:00 call but 3 people went to basements and closets and set up the  
nursery.e in 45 minutes with beds, blankets, clothes, diapers, toys,  
etc. Even a changing table, bottles, and milk.

3. Because when the boys arrived late at 11:00 there were 5 people  
waiting at the curb when the case worker arrived. The boys turned out  
to be 18 months old and severely neglected. Everyone played with them  
while the case worker gave us their background. One twin was not  
walking and had been reported to social services for failure to  
thrive. Neither could talk. At midnight I could show the father how to  
give them a bath and for several nights rocked one boy to sleep  
because he kept his twin awake and the father needed to do laundry and  
prepare for the next day. And two young women became substitute  
mothers and helped him for months.

4. Because six-week old babies could be dropped off for naps in a  
quiet house to rest their bottoms on my desk and sleep against my  
shoulder while I worked on a book.

5. Because six-year-olds consider my house theirs and burst in to play  
with my bookcase of toys. Some things their parents won't allow  
because they end up all over the house -- a box of miniature rubber  
and plastic animals, of finger puppets, and alphabet letters. Flash  
lights they play with under the bed and in the bathroom.

6. Because when people get cancer, meals are organized at the drop of  
a hat each evening with left overs for lunch. And everyone can be told  
what not to say to an 8 year old girl about her mother's illness and  
everyone doesn't.

7. Because from the ages of 8-12 a boy could arrange his own birthday  
party and invite everyone to come and tell a joke. And everyone from  
3-75 does. And that one year he had pun contest with winners in  
several categories. And some people wrote their own puns.

8. Because at every party, I can ask Naomi to sing the green stamp  
song and I had forgotten all about green stamps.

9. Because when the daughter of one of our residents, who had only  
lived here one summer while she studied for the bar, lost a baby a  
month before it was to be born brought it back to be buried, expecting  
only her immediate family to attend the service, 45 people showed up.  
And in the following month woman shared with her their own experiences  
of losing babies so she could see that she could survive and have  
other children.

10. Because there is always a party going on somewhere that I can drop  
into for 15 minutes or an hour. And go back to my quiet house and my  
writing without feeling isolated.

11. Because when a single man adopted two boys,  6 and 8, from  
Yugoslavia and needed $10,000 for each one of them, we had a cash  
party to help.

12. Because we have an 80 year old woman who lives in a unit too small  
to have a dog can walk the dogs of those in wheelchairs who cannot  
walk theirs. And when she slips and falls on the ice and dislocates  
her shoulder there is a person passing by who can take her to the  
doctor and another who knows where the dog lives and can take  him  
home. And there are others to keep her entertained and see that she  
has lunch during the following weeks when her son doesn't want her to  
be alone while he is at work.

13. Because 45 people will sit in a room and listen to a 7 year old  
play a violin when he has only been taking lessons for a two months  
and only knows one song and plays it three times and it sounds  
horrible. And everyone applauds -- three times.

14. Because there is always a puzzle set up in the corner of the  
commonhouse where people gather, some for only a moment to talk to the  
puzzler on their way home from work while others linger and talk about  
important things.

15. And because it's 9:30 and I have to go let the electrician in to  
give us bids on several jobs because the person who was supposed to do  
it  works as translator for patients and doctors and got a call last  
night to go to an appointment, probably from her family. And I can  
slip in a question about installing plug-ins for electric cars that I  
forgot to tell Jim. And that we have a former resident who came back  
last week to stay on his way across America to show off his electric  
car and believes electric cars will be here momentarily, if not sooner.

Here meals are really the least of it.

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing,Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org