Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: consensus process (was Great Moments)

[Lynn Nadeau / Maraiah (welcome]

> Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2011
> From: R Philip Dowds <rpdowds [at] comcast.net>
>
> ... Cornerstone continues to struggle with unclarities structured into
> the process and its definitions.  Two examples ...
>
> (1) The informal definition of sidethumb most commonly used here  
> something
> like "I'm not completely happy, but I can live with this....
> (2)  We thumb by household, and quorum for a determination (the  
> minimum
> number of participating thumbs) is 22 out of 32.   Up and sides count
> together, and approving anything takes at least 12 ups, plus another  
> 10
> sides (and no downs).

I highly recommend the process we've used at RoseWind (Port Townsend  
WA) for many years: CT Butler's "On Conflict and Consensus", available  
free on line at www.ic.org/pnp/ocac. I never quite understood why  
Butler and Rothstein call their method "Formal Consensus", but  
compared to "informal definitions", it's very structured. By the time  
one has diligently gone through Level One, Level Two, and Level Three,  
there should be plenty of clarity about any concerns people have, and  
why. Standing Aside is a choice, but by the time a proposal has been  
adequately processed to merit a call for consensus, there are rarely  
more than a couple stand asides. If we had a situation like you  
reference, with 12 approving and 10 standing aside, I think our  
facilitators would find that to be such a lukewarm consensus that it  
would go back to committee.

On doing it "by household", I don't see how this aligns with the basic  
idea of consensus. The Quakers say "Everyone has a piece of the  
truth", and it's rare for spouses to think and feel alike. We treat  
each person as an individual. As a one-person household, I have the  
same value of input as each member of a couple. This isn't a vote.

Another recent thread dealt with proxies. Since consensus process is  
not a vote, how can this work? It is more common than not, that  
members shift their opinions in the course of the process of hearing  
from others and examining in more detail the underlying goals and  
concerns and possible creative win-win solutions. If we all just sent  
in our "vote" ahead of time, why even bother with the process?

No method is perfect: more than 20 years in, we are still learning.  
And the Butler book has been a highly useful guide. I recommend it.

Maraiah Lynn Nadeau
www.rosewind.org