Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Group Think

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

On 3 Jul 2011, at 1:22 AM, Joanie Connors wrote:

> I think the best group leadership balances kindness and encouraging
> divergent thinking, including conflict. Conflict is not the problem
> and needs to be allowed as long as it's in balance with positive
> forces (group spirit, support, resolution…).

This is way in dynamic governance objections are sought out. You WANT 
objections. Think up all the objections you can think of so we can be sure we 
have thought of everything and obtained the best proposed solution possible. 

That doesn't mean the perfect solution for all time but the best solution to 
move forward with, if even for only a few months as a test. The ability to move 
forward is important.

_Willful Blindness_ is the book I've been reading. "Why we ignore the Obvious 
at Our Peril. Margaret Heffernan has pulled together research on the conditions 
that cause us not to see or believe what we see.

http://tiny.cc/simtf

When we want to avoid conflict we avoid thinking that what we are doing is not 
the best thing we could be doing. We erroneously believe that happiness and 
politeness and caring and community are the absence of conflict. Nice people 
never do anything to upset anyone. 

Also has a wonderful section on money and how it blinds us to social good. When 
money is introduced to a situation,  for example monetary rewards, the social 
relationship is devalued and the opposite effect from that desired results. 
After reading this section I have been able to see more clearly how money is 
often used as if it were a social good in and of itself. 

The New Jersey Legislature just cut benefits to the homeless and state retirees 
because they were proudly "thinking of the  people". The people are in their 
pockets?

Not spending money becomes the only social benefit in our community budget. We 
have to do repairs to the facilities and pay the insurance. If we keep it at 
that, we are good. No support for community social events. No training. Nothing 
remotely "pretty." No children's special events. Nada. Look how thrifty we are 
and how much we have saved everyone! And made no commitment to building a sense 
of community.

Highly recommended. Maybe we should have an online cohousing book reading club. 
The other candidate is "How We Decide." Review here:

http://www.sharonvillines.com/337/how-we-decide/

Sharon
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Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
http://www.takomavillage.org