Developmental stages of cohousing | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Charles Durrett (durrett.charlesgmail.com) | |
Date: Wed, 24 Aug 2011 12:12:13 -0700 (PDT) |
August 22, 2011 Cohousing world, The question at hand is how to revitalize a community from the slump? I was in a beautiful little cohousing community in Austria two Summers ago, just North of Vienna. After the initial euphoria the year after move-in, they found themselves in a slump. They made a fundamental mistake — not delineating exactly what everyone’s cooking responsibilities were before moving in. Some assumed all the time, others assumed once-in-a-while, if ever. They started over on the meal track but realized that they could not force the reticent. So they started a new meal club with 12 of the 24 hsouseholds participating fully in the new dinner system of 4 evenings a week. Most subscribers participated about twice per week. But most importantly they voted (yes voted) to require that each new buyer had to participate in the dinner system. They didn’t have to eat, of course, but they did have to cook circa once per month. By all accounts (I’ve heard from five) it has established an entirely new sense of community there. Today 17 of 24 participate. Someday it will be 24 of 24. Fundamentally they decided, “Look, if you don’t break bread with your neighbors regularly, the most timeless means there is to facilitate community then there is an entire world out there. We break bread together as a fundamental means of establishing and maintaining community.” Similarly, some communities have not got their maintenance program together before move-in. While no one moves into cohousing planning to take advantage of their neighbors, it appears when basic needs like maintenance are left up to volunteerism, and “the tragedy of the commons,” “Oh, I was hoping you were going to get to it,” and, “Oh, some people can’t do it” is a cop out. They can cheerlead, they can tool about drinking water (which our 93-year-old resident does, and doesn’t complain anywhere near as much as the 35-year-old yuppies). Best bet, set the individuals and the community up for success — organize all these fundamentals before (long before) move-in — even before buying. We find the best bet is to finalize cooking when we plan the common house. “Later” means “maybe never,” and “we can always get to that” is very naive. Understand how things get done or don’t get done in cohousing, and the difference of setting a community up for long-term success or not, and that is don’t get into the slump in the first place. I was in Trudeslund (Chapter 5) this Summer — thirty years later they still have dinner seven nights a week, and maintenance has never been a question. It was obvious that they are still firing on all cylinders when I watched them set the table for 45 people for dinner — they have dinner 7 days a week. They routinely have 500 people hours a week in the common house for 33 households — while a poorly executed project down the street has 100 (each paid $350,000 for their building). Because Trudeslund set themselves up for success from the beginning. Re: Developmental stages of cohousing <–<http://lists.cohousing.org/archives/cohousing-l/msg33475.html> Date –> <http://lists.cohousing.org/archives/cohousing-l/msg33477.html> <– <http://lists.cohousing.org/archives/cohousing-l/msg33475.html> Thread –><http://lists.cohousing.org/archives/cohousing-l/msg33477.html> From: Michael Barrett (mbarretttoast.net) Date: Fri, 12 Aug 2011 09:24:45 -0700 (PDT) I am surprised that this issue has only now appeared on this board. I have observed, with regret, declining participation in both the cohousing communities I have been priviliged to live in, and have speculated on whether it is possible to rekindle the social fires that exist in the brand new or building community. I am not optimistic. I feel it is something akin to love and marriage. In love one's life is changed. If marriage follows two lives are changed, hopefully and wonderfully. But a few years later, for most of us, the fires die down. Perhaps cohousing is the same except that we fall in love with an idea, a practice and a whole bunch of people. Following this analogy, there are marriage renewal movements which claim success. Perhaps problematically, "swinging" can provide a terrific boost to at least the sexual side of two (or more) partnerships or marriages. The cohousing conference is probably our best shot at a a renewal movement. I won't even speculate whether there is a cohousing equivalent to "swinging". I see two significant positive influences on maintaining "community". One is a regular scheduled community shared meals program. The other is the presence in a community of the community organiser who, tirelessly and without tangible reward, keeps (in my experience) her finger on the pulse of needs and wishes and just never stops organizing "stuff". Someone said to me that without constant pumping of the community (social) well, cohousing degenerates into conventional American society. I substantially agree. I have served my time trying to maintain and build community but am far from tireless, and I confess to a need for expressed appreciation, and eventually dropped off the relevant committee, and have confined much of my community activity to things that have less need for wide and enthusiastic community participation (like finance, and amending the bylaws). Sadly the only other thing that I believe can bring a community together is disaster, or the real threat of truly imminent disaster. I believe the initial (and wonderful feel-so-good) bonds in a forming community are often largely forged in the fires of dispair and frustration at the intransigence at those who may not support, or more likely actively oppose, the forming community. If there is any bright side to the dark side, my hope is that when the oil (or water or food) stops flowing cohousing communities will rediscover community, as opposed to my morbid fear that in conventional America, families will reach for their guns. But hopefully there are communities out there who have found an equilibrium where happiness and contentment reign supreme and frustration and discord is almost non existent, and is very effectively handled. Can we hear from you how you do it? Michael - at Shadowlake Village - where we are enjoying unseasonable August cool and low humidity (only 76° at midday today) and the children are counting down the days till school starts. Being as they, of course, share the same attributes as the children from Lake Wobegon they can barely wait to get back. ( I find the term "kids" to be somewhat dismissive, and thus something I resist applying to ours) ----- Original Message ----- From: "Rod Lambert" <rod [at] ecovillage.ithaca.ny.us> To: <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> Sent: Friday, August 12, 2011 10:51 AM Subject: [C-L]_ developmental stages of cohousing
- Re: Developmental Stages of Cohousing, (continued)
- Re: Developmental Stages of Cohousing Wayne Tyson, August 15 2011
- Re: Developmental Stages of Cohousing Sharon Villines, August 15 2011
- Re: Developmental Stages of Cohousing Fred H Olson, August 15 2011
- Re: Developmental Stages of Cohousing Fred H Olson, August 16 2011
- Developmental stages of cohousing Charles Durrett, August 24 2011
- Re: Developmental Stages of Cohousing Dane Laverty, September 17 2011
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