Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Paying Teenagers

[Jerry McIntire (jerry.mcintire]

Thanks for sharing your experience and observation Pare, beautifully put.

Jerry

Jerry McIntire
Stone's Throw Ecovillage, in the heart of Wisconsin's beautiful Driftless
region
http://stonesthrowcommunity.wordpress.com/
1-608-637-6620

On Sat, Feb 28, 2015 at 10:08 AM, Pare Gerou <paregerou [at] gmail.com> wrote:

>
> Sharon- I have a teenager who lived in cohousing.  He was required, without
> pay, to do his mandatory workday work (garden and landscape work usually)
> and to do his work in the Common House in order to get Common House
> privileges (vacuuming mostly) so he could be allowed to be alone there.  He
> could earn more money by doing things for his neighbors.  This was the only
> way he had to earn money. He advertised and got paid for collecting bottles
> to take to the market for deposit, helping with cleaning and other projects
> with neighbors, and teaching chess lessons to a few children.  This
> generally worked very well, although there was one family who paid girls to
> babysit but felt that paying a boy to carry boxes was not right.  I think
> the key is to have structured mandatory work or structured work for
> privileges so they do not feel that everything they do they should get paid
> for, but at the same time they should also feel that they are valued, and
> this I believe is a challenge for cohousing communities.
>
> I believe that, if we had had a teen advisory committee that had meaningful
> impact on community decisions, that my tween would have volunteered for
> certain projects in the community more rather than performing only his
> mandatory work and work for privileges.  Another way to think about the
> issue you bring up is to ask how to make teenagers more a part of the
> process so they feel invested and valued and that their interests are
> heard.  The volunteering then would likely occur naturally just as,
> frankly, adults volunteer because they realize they are part of something
> they are helping to build and that values them.  By the end of several
> years there, my son was running to the moving vans and volunteering to help
> unload boxes for new owners.  This is because people had treated him like
> he belonged, and he felt invested in that and enthusiastic to pass that
> feeling along, but he did not feel the same way about community decisions
> and power, so he did not run to help with a project he had no part in
> building.  Including teens and teaching them best process and governance
> practices will ensure a new generation of evolving and even better
> cohousing---- if that is possible :)
>
>
> Pare Gerou
> 1725 Belvedere Place
> Charlottesville, VA 22901
> 434.962.7801
>
> On Sat, Feb 28, 2015 at 10:20 AM, Sharon Villines <
> sharon [at] sharonvillines.com
> > wrote:
>
> >
> > I'm conflicted about the issue of paying teenagers to help with tasks
> that
> > an adult community member would just do for me, like taking out my trash
> > and recycling when I'm sick. Running across the street to the market.
> > Helping me repot plants. Break up the ice in my parking space.
> >
> > It seems clear that if I ask a 15-year-old to come work for an hour or
> two
> > to help with chores that I would pay them. But if another person would
> just
> > clear off the snow on my car gratis or grab my trash when taking out
> > theirs, should I pay a teenager to do it?
> >
> > Since I want teenagers to feel more like members of the community, why
> not
> > expect them to be part of the community?
> >
> > There is some line here that is blurry. Since they are often saving money
> > for something, they need money. Sometimes to pay for their own phone or a
> > new bicycle helmet or something their parent has said yes but you have to
> > earn the money. Since they are in school and often helping at home as
> well,
> > having a job is not practical. So paying teenagers is helping them earn
> the
> > typical teenage necessities and it's helping the parents as much as the
> > teens.
> >
> > What do other communities do about this?
> >
> > Sharon
> > ----
> > Sharon Villines
> > Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
> > http://www.takomavillage.org
> >
> >
> >
> >
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