Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Safety

[Lynn Nadeau / Maraiah (welcome]

I guess a lot depends on your location and what goes on there. 
Here in (Ecotopia?) Port Townsend WA, people boast of never locking things. I 
come home and find notes, pie, flowers, checks, and indications that friends 
have borrowed something. We have a public path that runs through our site, with 
pedestrians, bicyclists, dog walkers, etc coming through all the time. A couple 
of kid bikes (unlocked of course) did disappear once. A teenager walked into 
the (unlocked) Common House, and walked off with a DVD player. (Mom caught it 
and he returned it; we had him join us in some landscape clearing work, to 
atone. ) But we've not felt in any danger. Two homes here have Air BnB guests 
fairly often. Again, no problems. 

26 years ago, I included a gun policy in our CC&Rs-- no guns on common property 
except in transit to or from someone's car to their house. To the best of my 
knowledge, nobody here owns a gun. 

Policy about guests, contractors, or anyone else who is on the site at the 
invitation of a Member, is that ultimate legal responsibility (liability, 
damage) is with the Member. But it's never been an issue. 

When people inquire about buying in (on resales, at this point), I typically do 
a Google search-- as much out of curiosity as anything. Once I found an 
inquirer had a felony conviction in another state. But he only made an initial 
inquiry, never was a real prospect. 

As a parent, teacher, and grandparent, I think the best way to keep children 
safe is to nurture their self esteem, role play "what if" scenarios that are 
age appropriate, teach them to recognize common scams ("Help me find my lost 
puppy") , not to get into a car with a stranger, recognize inappropriate touch 
and how to report it. Most sexual molestation comes not from strangers, but 
from family members, family friends, relatives, people in positions of 
authority (teacher, childcare provider, bus driver, doctor, counsellor, 
pastor). 
Instill confidence in children, and give them practical skills for staying 
safe. This is much more effective than scaring them, telling them never to talk 
to people they don't know, worrying about predatory criminals. 

Unfortunately, you can't even predict how your "regular" members will end up 
behaving. Suzy Q may gush about how perfect your community will be for her, and 
then spend years complaining, criticizing, and putting sticks in the spokes. 
Joe may impress you with his verbal and social skills, and then you find out 
he's always suggesting expensive lawyer consults, or worse yet, wants to sue 
YOU. 

But a strong sense of community among the majority of your members, a 
well-tuned group process, good facilitation, clear documents: all these sorts 
of things will see you through all sorts of challenges!

Maraiah Lynn Nadeau
in my 26th year with RoseWind Cohousing