Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: enforcement of cohousing rules and community listserv

[Sharon Villines (sharon]

> On Nov 7, 2015, at 11:26 AM, Sharon Villines <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com> 
> wrote:
> 
> On another list of almost 3,000 I remind (and teach) people to state their 
> own opinions in factual terms and not in characterizations of the opinions of 
> others. “That’s  stupid idea” is not the same as “That idea doesn’t take into 
> account the information that…”

A bit more on email. And seemingly off-topic but bear with me. 

Our neighborhood list, TakomadC, started in the 1990s by 12 neighbors as a way 
for to notify each other of crimes in the neighborhood. In 2003 when ownership 
was transferred to me, it had 400 subscribers. It now has almost 3,000 members 
who live in this neighborhood and nearby neighborhoods. Plus representatives of 
various city offices who respond to postings about problems like no trash pick 
up, open water hydrants, abandoned cars, etc. It’s the center of communication 
in the neighborhood.

Residents use the list to find out why there are police cars at an intersection 
or outside a store or bank. Why has a helicopter been circling for 30 minutes 
at 3 in the morning. They ask for recommendations for handi-people, car repair, 
chimney sweeps, the best dry cleaners, etc. My water is out, is yours? Is RCN 
down or is it just mine. I once asked why snow was acoustically so powerful, 
and got a response from a scientist at the University of Maryland. Someone 
usually knows whatever you need to know.

All replies go to the list. This keeps the “conversation between neighbors” 
purpose and shares information with everyone. While I and others get very tired 
of yet another request for a “reliable affordable” roofer or request for a 
“loving dependable” nanny, these are the needs that attract new residents to 
the list. Then they stay to join the conversation and the community.

I put members who post attacking, derisive, or derogatory messages on 
moderation so I have to approve their messages before posting. Then I ask them 
to edit their messages. Only one person in 12 years has been banned from 
posting at all (suspected of being mentally ill). Otherwise private 
conversations with posters have been very fruitful in changing the tone of 
messages and making them more helpful and expressive of the intent of the 
message.

Political discussions are limited to election seasons. As discussions have 
become more successful, we have extended this period to about 3 months before 
the election. Ironically the original restriction of 4 weeks began because 
Obama supporters were posting almost daily about “registration drives” and 
insisting that they were not Obama campaigners. It is very likely that everyone 
in DC voted for Obama but reading such notices repeatedly is very off-putting. 
Plus we have lots of candidates for some offices. They demand equal attention.

We recently had a very successful, insightful discussion on race which most 
people would think was impossible on an open list with such ethnically and 
socio-economically diverse members.

Press releases (except for government agencies) are banned as well as class 
schedules, museum programs, etc.—the same things some people think are the only 
kinds of messages that are appropriate for email — are banned. People in the 
immediate neighborhood who are selling or renting their own homes themselves 
can post, but not realtors. Active members can sell their own things 
—furniture, children’s clothes, etc.—if they live in the neighborhood.

While other email lists are dying, TakomaDC is growing at the rate of ~5 new 
members a week.

Like Cohousing-L, which I credit for the growth of cohousing at least from its 
start until the cohousing association became more effective, in my opinion 
TakomaDC has contributed to making Takoma one of the places in DC that 
“everyone” wants to live. It recreates an old-fashioned neighborhood main 
street.

During the formation of Takoma Village, the building of the structure as well 
as the community, the members list served the same purpose. This is why I think 
email lists fill a need in modern cultures, and should be cultivated in 
cohousing, particularly in larger communities.

Recently at Takoma Village some members have been making lists of resources and 
encouraging people to consult the list instead of asking for information on the 
members list. This has greatly reduced what we know about each other — who is 
having a plumbing crisis or has a new dog and needs a vet. The questions that 
result in a range of opinions and resources. And build relationships. 

Sharon
----
Sharon Villines, Washington DC

Nothing exists without order. Nothing comes into existence without chaos.