Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Request from Manzanita Village in Arizona: How does your community handle members who abuse the community e-mail?

[Chris Roth - Communities Editor (editor]

These are the email agreements that everyone who moves to Lost Valley 
needs to sign onto in order to reside at the community (part of the 
Community Living Agreements at http://lostvalley.org/cla/):

*Email Etiquette or “Netiquette”:*
1.    I will use Lost Valley email primarily to communicate functional 
information, and to confirm agreements that are made verbally.
2.    If I have doubts as to whether or not my email is appropriate I 
will refer to a friend, staff, or community council member about its 
content or style BEFORE sending.  If I still have any doubts after 
several hours I will schedule a face to face meeting with the 
recipient(s) or arrange a mediated meeting from a community council member.
3.    I will talk to people in person regarding topics where either or 
both parties are feeling heightened emotions.  If I believe that it is 
essential to communicate negative feelings by email I will use 
non-violent communication strategies.
4.    I will respect the confidentiality of information by sending 
emails to relevant parties only.  Campus is not an appropriate target 
for sensitive topics.
5.    If someone sends me something I think is inappropriate, or 
addresses a larger audience than I think needs to be involved I will 
schedule a time to talk to the person about this concern.  If that 
conversation doesn’t solve my concern I will ask the Community Council 
for help. I will not use email to argue back.
6.    I will write using normal capitalization, in order to assume a 
calm textual “voice.”  I will use the words URGENT and IMPORTANT cautiously.
7.    I will not make any libelous, sexist or racially discriminating 
comments in emails, even if they are meant to be a joke.  I will not 
forward emails that contain any of this content unless it is to report a 
violation of agreement(s).

Violations are processed through the Community Council, also described 
in that Community Living Agreements document:

*Policy Infraction Resolution Process (PIRP):*
The Community Council is a small group of people elected by the 
community of resident staff and students at Lost Valley existing to help 
resolve conflicts and/or policy infractions that need special 
attention.  First is a written warning delivered by council member(s).  
Repeated misconduct or complaints results in additional written 
warnings, and a wisdom circle with the whole council.  Outstanding 
conflict beyond steps one and two is resolved by the council’s 
recommendation to the appropriate body for remediation of said issue.
If I am reported as having been in violation of any part of this 
agreement, another resident may enter me into the resolution process 
facilitated by Community Council.  I recognize that I have the same 
right to request reasonable help from the Community Council.  If I cause 
distress with multiple people on-site, enough such that Community 
Council cannot foreseeably resolve community tensions, the Council may 
recommend an end to my residency to the Site Manager.
I agree to maintain healthy relationships with other residents and 
visitors to the best of my ability.
I will proactively work to resolve any conflicts and/or 
misunderstandings in a timely manner. This includes making a good faith 
effort to work out interpersonal problems through third-party mediation, 
as appropriate, and as determined by Community Council. I agree to make 
myself available for a scheduled mediation within two weeks after a 
request from Community Council. An extension may be granted under 
extenuating circumstances. Noncompliance with a Community Council 
request for timely participation in mediation may lead to a larger 
community circle or other measures, including a possible recommendation 
for end of residency.

Despite the existence of these documents, infractions still occur, 
especially among more recent arrivals in the community who haven't fully 
"grokked" all the agreements yet, but dealing with infractions is easier 
because of these policies.

On 1/14/2021 11:40 PM, cohousing-l-request [at] cohousing.org wrote:
> Message: 1
> Date: Wed, 13 Jan 2021 12:29:41 MST
> From: "Nan Henderson"<nhenderson [at] resiliency.com>
> To:<cohousing-L [at] cohousing.org>
> Subject: [C-L]_ Request from Manzanita Village in Arizona: How does
>         your community handle members who abuse the community e-mail?
> Message-ID:<twig.1610566181.16479 [at] swcp.com>
>
> Greetings co-housing friends:  We are looking for solutions to our issue of about 4 of 
> our 60 plus members occasionally abusing the community group e-mail by "calling 
> out" by name in
> disrespectful or even abusive posts other members they are upset with/have an 
> issue with.  This issue has been raised, commented on, lamented, etc. but still 
> people do this.
> Have you found a way to solve a similar issue in your community?
>
> Thank you for any help!
> Nan Henderson (for the Membership Committee at Manzanita Village)

--
Chris Roth
Editor, Communities
81868 Lost Valley Lane
Dexter, OR 97431
editor [at] gen-us.net
541-937-5221
gen-us.net/communities

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