|Re: raising children brochure||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Sharon Villines (sharonsharonvillines.com)|
|Date: Mon, 5 Apr 2021 16:11:08 -0700 (PDT)|
> On Apr 5, 2021, at 10:41 AM, CJ Q <homeschoolvideo [at] gmail.com> wrote: > I'm thinking of making a brochure on raising children in cohousing for > forming communities. What information do you think would be helpful? There is so much out there on how to raise children that adding to it would be very difficult if you want people to read it. > I know the main thing I"ll encourage is to try to set up expectations of > children's behavior before they move in. And this is impossible. Children are totally unique and their parents have many ideas about how children should be treated and what they should be allowed to do. I remember kids having different rules when I was kid, but I thought by 2000 in a liberal community there would be some agreement. Other than they are all invested in their children, there is almost no agreement. It was one of my surprises about cohousing. And remember that most of the people are parents — not just the people who have babies and school children at home. Parents with adult children do know something about kids, and since they now have to live with yours, they should be involved in conversations to the extent that they desire. Schools are a problem in DC. We have public schools that used to be very bad but getting better, charter schools that are newer but of uneven quality and ambition, private schools of all kinds that have competitive admissions, and home schooling communities. Many children go to public schools outside of their school district. Thus none of our children went to the same schools. A couple of teens when to the same school for one year or so but otherwise not unless they were siblings. No car pools or homework clubs. What might be helpful is low pressure conversations around topics: 1. If a child is allowed to jump and climb on furniture at home, should they be allowed to in the CH? 2. What do you think about indoor voices and outdoor voices? Are children’s voices uncontrollable and they should be free? 3. Who should correct a child — the adult close by or only the parent? If your child is outside playing do you think other kids or adults should come get you to take care of it? 4. Should children be able to run in the common house, particularly when meals are taking place or people are sitting around talking? As in 10-20 children. 5. Should soda or other foods that parents don’t want their children to have be allowed in the CH? Should everyone agree on a good food standard? 6. Should children who are arguing or fighting be left to sort it out themselves or should adults help resolve the situation? 7. Can other adults occasionally give your children cookies, ice cream, or carrots without calling you first? There are lots more questions. When I say low pressure, I mean with no effort to change anyone’s mind or make rules — only to share thoughts. People will change over time when they hear the responses of others, and experience what living with a whole bunch of kids is like. It was culture shock for some of us when we had 20 children under 14, even those who had raised 2-3 children. Sharon ——— Sharon Villines http://affordablecohousing.com affordablecohousing [at] groups.io To subscribe: affordablecohousing+subscribe [at] groups.io
- raising children brochure CJ Q, April 5 2021
- Re: Raising Children Brochure Chris Roth - Communities Editor, April 6 2021
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