Re: raising children brochure
From: BETSY ALGIRE (betsy1945comcast.net)
Date: Mon, 19 Apr 2021 21:32:18 -0700 (PDT)
Right now we have 19 kids here at Liberty Village, in Union Bridge Md.I have 
found that dealing with the kids is a lot easier than dealing with some of the 
adults in the community. Because of Covid we are not using our Common House 
right now, so most of the interactions are with kids outside. We don't have any 
hard and fast rules about kid behavior. Most issues are dealt with as they come 
up. As people move and new people move in, expectations on kid behavior 
changes. My child is an adult so I don't know how I would react to an issue 
concerning my child. How we think we would react and how we actually react are 
two different things. As a little side bar, I had two wonderful interactions 
with neighborhood kids this week. In one two young teen girls ran up to help me 
with some heavy bags that I was bringing into my house. In the other, my six 
year old next door neighbor came over to share his new hair cut with me and to 
discuss the edible plants in my garden. Both these interactions warmed my 
heart. Maybe these are the things we should be focusing on.
Betsy Algire
Liberty Village Cohousing
> On 04/05/2021 7:11 PM Sharon Villines via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] 
> cohousing.org> wrote:
> 
>  
> > On Apr 5, 2021, at 10:41 AM, CJ Q <homeschoolvideo [at] gmail.com> wrote:
> 
> > I'm thinking of making a brochure on raising children in cohousing for
> > forming communities. What information do you think would be helpful?
> 
> There is so much out there on how to raise children that adding to it would 
> be very difficult if you want people to read it.
> 
> > I know the main thing I"ll encourage is to try to set up expectations of
> > children's behavior before they move in. 
> 
> And this is impossible. Children are totally unique and their parents have 
> many ideas about how children should be treated and what they should be 
> allowed to do. I remember kids having different rules when I was kid, but I 
> thought by 2000 in a liberal community there would be some agreement. Other 
> than they are all invested in their children, there is almost no agreement. 
> It was one of my surprises about cohousing.
> 
> And remember that most of the people are parents — not just the people who 
> have babies and school children at home. Parents with adult children do know 
> something about kids, and since they now have to live with yours, they should 
> be involved in conversations to the extent that they desire.
> 
> Schools are a problem in DC. We have public schools that used to be very bad 
> but getting better, charter schools that are newer but of uneven quality and 
> ambition, private schools of all kinds that have competitive admissions, and 
> home schooling communities. Many children go to public schools outside of 
> their school district. Thus none of our children went to the same schools. A 
> couple of teens when to the same school for one year or so but otherwise not 
> unless they were siblings. No car pools or homework clubs.
> 
> What might be helpful is low pressure conversations around topics:
> 
> 1. If a child is allowed to jump and climb on furniture at home, should they 
> be allowed to in the CH?
> 2. What do you think about indoor voices and outdoor voices? Are children’s 
> voices uncontrollable and they should be free?
> 3. Who should correct a child — the adult close by or only the parent? If 
> your child is outside playing do you think other kids or adults should come 
> get you to take care of it?
> 4. Should children be able to run in the common house, particularly when 
> meals are taking place or people are sitting around talking? As in 10-20 
> children.
> 5. Should soda or other foods that parents don’t want their children to have 
> be allowed in the CH? Should everyone agree on a good food standard?
> 6. Should children who are arguing or fighting be left to sort it out 
> themselves or should adults help resolve the situation?
> 7. Can other adults occasionally give your children cookies, ice cream, or 
> carrots without calling you first?
> 
> There are lots more questions. When I say low pressure, I mean with no effort 
> to change anyone’s mind or make rules — only to share thoughts. People will 
> change over time when they hear the responses of others, and experience what 
> living with a whole bunch of kids is like. It was culture shock for some of  
> us when we had 20 children under 14, even those who had raised 2-3 children.
> 
> Sharon
> ——— 
> Sharon Villines
> http://affordablecohousing.com
> affordablecohousing [at] groups.io
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> 
> 
> 
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