Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Cohousing-L Digest, Vol 212, Issue 8

[Jack & Carolyn Salmon (2salmon]

> On Sep 6, 2021, at 9:52 AM, cohousing-l-request [at] cohousing.org wrote:
> 
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> Today's Topics:
> 
>   1. Re: resource for facilitating meetings (Nancy Morehouse)
>   2. Daily check ins? (Nancy Morehouse)
>   3. Re: Daily check ins? (Sharon Villines)
>   4. Re: Daily check ins? (Ted J Rau)
>   5. Inappropriate Behavior (Zev Paiss)
>   6. Re: Inappropriate Behavior (Chris Hansen)
>   7. Re: Inappropriate Behavior (Sharon Villines)
> 
> 
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> -----------------------------
> 
> Message: 2
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2021 11:46:07 -0400
> From: Nancy Morehouse <nmorehouse [at] aol.com>
> To: Cohousing-L [at] cohousing.org
> Subject: [C-L]_ Daily check ins?
> Message-ID: <D2463141-2106-43C8-B947-616BEB9A3588 [at] aol.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain;     charset=us-ascii
> 
> Our Welfare Team is trying to figure out how to standardize daily check in.
> 
> I live in Wolf Creek Lodge, an adult co-housing community community.  This 
> summer we have experienced acute life threatening emergencies for 2 single 
> members.  They were discovered just by chance and survived but we are 
> concerned that someone could die in their home without being able to let 
> someone know they were in trouble.
> 
> We have held a Community discussion in hopes that we could get some ideas how 
> to do this.  Instead we got a variety of opinions:  Some singles were already 
> checking in with another member daily; some were interested in establishing a 
> system but had no ideas how to do this; some were opposed to having a regular 
> check in.  But there were no innovative ideas about systemic regular check 
> ins.
> 
> How does your community handle this issue?
> 
> Nancy Morehouse
> cell and text 540-230-5367

We have a buddy system—everyone has a buddy. The buddy doesn't have to be a 
best friend, but being an ‘in-sight neighbor helps.  

 Depending on the physical layout of your community, it can be very easy or 
very difficult to keep an eye out for our neighbors…I can see 5 neighbors’ 
front doors from my kitchen window and if I haven’t seen someone for a day…I’ll 
knock on the door or ask another neighbor about them.   

 In our town, folks who know they have life-threatening health challenges can 
get an electronic call ‘button’ that connects to the local first responders.  
They can  talk to each other and appropriate help sent.

Carolyn
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 3
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2021 12:06:29 -0400
> From: Sharon Villines <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com>
> To: Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Daily check ins?
> Message-ID: <04483115-4BFA-4AC6-A92D-621E8853526B [at] sharonvillines.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain;     charset=utf-8
> 
>> On Sep 6, 2021, at 11:46 AM, Nancy Morehouse via Cohousing-L <cohousing-l 
>> [at] cohousing.org> wrote:
> 
>> How does your community handle this issue?
> 
> Our community doesn?t do this as whole but individuals do check in with other 
> individuals. They are personal arrangements so they are very individual.
> 
> From a friend in living in a Kendal community, one of several reasons 
> everyone is required to eat one meal a day in the dining room (or have a meal 
> delivered) is that it is at least one check a day on whether someone is up 
> and about.
> 
> One practice in a section of units that opened on a common hallway was that 
> each resident put a ceramic or wood sculpture outside their door each morning 
> when they woke up. If all the sculptures were out by 9, they took them all 
> in. If one wasn?t, someone would knock on their door to check.
> 
> It was effective and developed the habit of checking in everyday. Not just 
> checkin on someone else but checking one?s self in. Waving your flag.
> 
> Sharon
> ----
> Sharon Villines
> Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
> http://www.takomavillage.org
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 4
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2021 12:19:49 -0400
> From: Ted J Rau <ted [at] sociocracyforall.org>
> To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Daily check ins?
> Message-ID:
>       <CAH0S9z4qLBtekqw_35BAPMGTuGe2FkV78AtLfqOD83ujw4H_Vw [at] 
> mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
> 
> We have individual checkins too. I often wondered about formalizing it so
> we can be sure no one falls through the cracks. I?d love to hear what you
> come up with.
> 
> During the first 6 months of the pandemic, we formed pods of adjacent
> houses and made sure to hear from each other in the pod - first about
> daily, then every few days.
> Some pods are still meeting actually.
> 
> Ted
> 
> On Mon, Sep 6, 2021 at 12:06 PM Sharon Villines via Cohousing-L <
> cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org> wrote:
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 5
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2021 16:37:11 +0000
> From: Zev Paiss <zevpaiss [at] gmail.com>
> To: "cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org" <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
> Subject: [C-L]_ Inappropriate Behavior
> Message-ID:
>       <SN1PR20MB20934E5B7FF9D542E2A70223F2D29 [at] 
> SN1PR20MB2093.namprd20.prod.outlook.com>
>       
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
> 
> I submitted a posting last week under the heading of changing Cohousing norms 
> and only received one private massage.
> 
> Let me be more specific. Do you feel that any of the actions listed below 
> would be considered inappropriate behavior in your Cohousing community?
> 
> Asking to borrow a car for an important local trip.
> 
> Asking question of neighbors pertaining to their health, work, community 
> involvement  or their family.
> 
> Mentioning to community members about their lack of participation around 
> tasks they have chosen or assigned.
> 
> Responding to email post that may not be directed to you but that you have 
> information about.
> 
> I look forward to your responses.
> 
> Zev Paiss
> Boulder, CO
> 720-925-5161
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 6
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2021 12:47:31 -0400
> From: Chris Hansen <itschrishansen [at] gmail.com>
> To: Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Inappropriate Behavior
> Message-ID:
>       <CAJD0Ydrp0KrzO_LO3CHaCxLzQjUd0+768N73+OFzd_y7dL2jXw [at] 
> mail.gmail.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"
> 
> No- most of those happen pretty frequently, but it does depend on both the
> norms in your community, and the personal relationship between the
> communicator and whomever is responding (or reacting, as the case may be)
> The one that I think needs to be dealt with carefully (and there will be
> others in this group who can speak eloquently to this) is mentioning to
> community members about their lack of participation around tasks they have
> chosen or assigned. Doing so in a way that can be heard must be in the
> realms of 'black belt' in the martial art of CoHousing Communications. If
> anyone here has effective ways of doing this that can be heard, let's talk
> about this in a separate thread!
> Cheers!
> Chris
> 
> 
> On Mon, 6 Sept 2021 at 12:37, Zev Paiss <zevpaiss [at] gmail.com> wrote:
> 
>> I submitted a posting last week under the heading of changing Cohousing
>> norms and only received one private massage.
>> 
>> Let me be more specific. Do you feel that any of the actions listed below
>> would be considered inappropriate behavior in your Cohousing community?
>> 
>> Asking to borrow a car for an important local trip.
>> 
>> Asking question of neighbors pertaining to their health, work, community
>> involvement  or their family.
>> 
>> Mentioning to community members about their lack of participation around
>> tasks they have chosen or assigned.
>> 
>> Responding to email post that may not be directed to you but that you have
>> information about.
>> 
>> I look forward to your responses.
>> 
>> Zev Paiss
>> Boulder, CO
>> 720-925-5161
>> _________________________________________________________________
>> Cohousing-L mailing list -- Unsubscribe, archives and other info at:
>> http://L.cohousing.org/info
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
> 
> -- 
> Chris Hansen
> 32 East Village Drive
> Burlington
> Vermont 05401
> USA
> 
> Ph 603 3988730
> 
> 
> ------------------------------
> 
> Message: 7
> Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2021 12:52:00 -0400
> From: Sharon Villines <sharon [at] sharonvillines.com>
> To: Cohousing-L <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
> Subject: Re: [C-L]_ Inappropriate Behavior
> Message-ID: <23C6AD8C-0F36-48B0-B31E-80F0A736DE9D [at] sharonvillines.com>
> Content-Type: text/plain;     charset=us-ascii
> 
>> On Sep 6, 2021, at 12:37 PM, Zev Paiss <zevpaiss [at] gmail.com> wrote:
>> 
>> Do you feel that any of the actions listed below would be considered 
>> inappropriate behavior in your Cohousing community?
>> 
>> Asking to borrow a car for an important local trip.
>> Asking question of neighbors pertaining to their health, work, community 
>> involvement  or their family.
>> Mentioning to community members about their lack of participation around 
>> tasks they have chosen or assigned.
>> Responding to email post that may not be directed to you but that you have 
>> information about.
> 
> My expectation is that all of these would happen everyday. I might not do all 
> of these equally with everyone in the community but someone else would. They 
> are common everyday happenings.
> 
> Sharon
> ----
> Sharon Villines
> Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC
> http://www.takomavillage.org
> 
> Any of these are g