Cohousing-L Mailing List: Responding to request for resources to deal with bullying, Coho/US WebChat on Especially Challenging Behaviors

[Diana Leafe Christian (diana]

Hello Carol and all,

I'm responding to Carol's post, below, asking for more resources to help deal 
with bullying in community. And I'm also hoping to reach people who attended my 
Coho/US WebChat several years ago -- "Working Effectively with Especially 
Challenging Behaviors" — in which I promised handouts to accompany the Zoom 
presentation.

Although I promised I'd provide handouts for that WebChat presentation, 
unfortunately I had health challenges for several years and only recently have 
been able to create materials on this topic. I regret and feel embarrassed 
about this extremely long delay in providing support materials for this 
WebChat, and apologize to Coho/US and people who attended the WebChat.

I didn't create handouts, but started an article series in Communities magazine 
with the same title, Working Effectively with Especially Challenging Behaviors. 
Part One and Part Two of this article series have already appeared in the 
magazine and now I can share them freely.

I consider bullying — both the obvious, aggressive form of bullying, as well as 
the more passive-aggressive form — as two of the "especially challenging 
behaviors" addressed in the article series. Sometimes some community members 
have the mistaken idea that such behaviors can't actually happen in community. 
Or if they do, the behaviors will go away with enough community, enough empathy 
and Nonviolent Communication, and with enough hugs — which of course doesn't 
happen. My article series attempts to offer immediately useful, realistic ways 
to stop being negatively affected by these behaviors, and feel more emotional 
safety and peace of mind in one's own community.

The first article in the series is available as a pdf document with photos at 
https://www.genpus.net/DLC  The second article is now available in the current, 
Spring 2022 issue of the magazine. I can also send it as a pdf document with 
photos; just email me at diana [at] ic.org. 

I'll be doing a workshop on this topic at the Cohousing Conference in Madison, 
WI in August.

My free sociocracy overview classes are going well. The next two are in the 
evening, 5-7pm Pacific and 8-10pm Eastern, this coming Wednesday, March 30 for 
the first class and Friday, April 1 for the second. And in the next week, 
Tuesday, April 5 and Thursday, April 7. The first class is on the sociocracy 
process of creating proposals, and the second is on including feedback 
questions in proposals so the group can later see how well the proposal works 
"in real life" and modify it if needed. Again, just email for more information 
– diana [at] ic.org

 Diana Leafe Christian

On Fri, Mar 25, 2022 at 10:40 AM CJ Q <homeschoolvideo [at] gmail.com> wrote:

Hi
I've heard from someone who wants help. They are feeling bullied in their
cohousing.  I'm wondering about some sort of resources and maybe a support
group on a list serv or facebook or something.
I took a class through FIC on power dynamics given by Round sky solutions
group. That's one resource.Does anyone have any others?
I know mediators can help but there are limitations. Does the group buy in?
Try to step in and help?  Some mediators are better than others with group
dynamics for sure.

Thanks,
Carol
homeschoolvideo [at] gmail.com